Tuesday, November 02, 2004

changes inside out




"Change your thoughts, and you change your world."
- Norman Vincent Peale


Tis the season of birthdays, and change.
Birth, death, rebirth, growth...
an endless cycle which renews my spirit.
A thousand lifetimes in one.

Both me and Chris' birthdays are rapidly approaching,
and with it brings the winds of renewal.
Darling Deb tells me the time before a birthday is filled with change.
Seeing those things that no longer serve you,
and moving into those which do.

Yesterday, I had my haircut for the first time this year.
I have so long wanted it and wished it to be long to be Godiva~like, mermaid~like, goddess~like...
And it was finally getting close to that point...
but alas.
It was not healthy.
In order for it to grow more, it needed to be cut.

A funny irony isn't it?

So as the hairdresser took off an inch yesterday (an inch ~ a whole inch ~ how long it takes me to grow an inch!)
I tried not to think about how short it would be,
on how I already didn't like it
on all the lacks and the negatives off the situation.

I kept trying to think however,
that by cutting off those dead parts,
I was making way for new, more lifely ones.
How a new haircut might be just what I needed

A fresh breeze.

Leaps of Faith.
Even if it's only in cutting one's hair.

(It did work out fine. I like it!)

Then, last night, as we sat at the dining table, we looked about the room.
A feature wall of postcards. Photographs. Posters. Maps.
Things we've been collecting since we moved here.
And suddenly, we both knew ~ it had to go.
So postcard by postcard, piece by piece,
we dismantled our coloured paper shell.
Took it all off.
Without thinking, we knew it was that had to be done.
Our kitchen and living area is now bare.
The pale blank walls are confronting, refreshing, a blank canvas.
Making room for new things...
and leaving behind that which no longer serves us.

This weekend, we will buy some canvases.
We will paint on them, and stroke by stroke,
create a different world.


Little things these are, yes.
A haircut and wall hangings.
But they are big things too.
They are the gentle waves which indicate
a stronger current beneath.

When we change our outside world,
our inside world can't help but follow.


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