Self Portrait Challenge: What I Wear

I clothe myself in Mama Earth:
dried eucalypt leaves tangling in my hair,
coral in my eyes, stems of nuts and flowering buds dangling from wrists,
seaweed and mulla mulla grass wrapping their tender arms around my body.

I walk barefoot:
letting the air and the light
kiss me and cleanse me
reminding me of my beginnings and endings.

I lose myself in Her, and Her in me.
Every part of me is dust and love,
singing in a body.
I am in the trees. The trees are in me.

What I wear is My Self and My Earth:
medicine bag on my back,
radiant body, limbs, life, breath,
joy in every step.


~ * ~

I had wild photo picnics on the farm on the weekend!
Check out the pictures here!

Freya Love

I'm in the process of catching up on processing all the photos I've taken in the last few weeks...

Here's some of the photographs I took at the first birthing day celebration of my little goddess-sister-niece Freya... You can see more over at my photography blog. Yes... photography blog! I'm experimenting at the moment with having a blog with more of my photography pictures... You can see the rest of the blog at http://leonieallan.blogspot.com ~ add to your bloglines if you like!

Freya's birthday was a precious little celebration of food and friendship and puppets and drumming. I think her favourite birthday present was from her soulmate/surrogate uncle Josh who gave her something that would keep her amused for hours: a box of tissues.


Kaylia dreams in leaves...



Connor and calcite crystals...


Uncy Josh


Connor is sometimes a firefighting dragon..


And then of course, the all important Ukelele-Off





As our little community evolves...
most of us immigrants to this city with kin living away...
I find that our friends are the family we create for ourselves.

What would you do if you knew that All Is Well?

Soak up the stars,
Leonie

Love From The Jungle

There are so many stories tumbling inside me. So many stories to be heard, known, understood. So many stories to make a home inside this soul of mine.

Stories of how the light looks at Brisbane dawn, seeping into you, waking you long before you are ready. Stories of sisterhood and fierce love and unexpected tenderness. Stories of sushi and curry and cupcakes. Stories of hospital beds and meds and a ferociously beautiful octogenarian named Phyllis sharing a hospital room with three mad sisters. Stories of walks in long green and black skirts, patterned with elephants, walks waist-high through the jungle of Brisbane's wildflowers and wilderness, magnificence and mangroves. Stories of taxi drivers who break your heart or set it free with love for humanity. Stories of wildness. And laughter that leaves you breathless and falling into trees, the kind of laughter only sisters know. Stories of hands clutching crystals. Stories of past lives and presentness and priestesses and puppies. Stories of seeing beautiful women and luscious men in my eyes, heart, camera lens.

Stories of walking through the city at daybreak with a thirsty soul, following your feet past ruptured concrete to a tiny breath of Mama Earth, a park carved into the bustle of a hill. Stories of butterflies and birds. Stories of old friends and new friends. Stories of seeing an old friend and telling him: you know who I once dreamed of being? I am that now. Stories of a picnic in an abandoned lot/park/fairy garden, a gathering of rainbow precious women. Stories of pyjama parties and making dreams come true. And the brave pleasure of being yourself, even when that self seems faintly otherworldly. Stories of pain and healing, vulnerability and loveliness. Stories of nestling with my sisters, legs and hands akimbo, revelling in our holy trinity.



So many stories. I do not know yet how to tell them, how to speak them, how to hear them for what they really are. They instead are streams of silk fluttering around inside me, and I clutch at them, threading long fingers through them, grasping them into a ball. And then I let them go, I breathe and I sit. I watch, knowing instead that on their own, with time, the silken threads will weave and warp into a quilt of understanding and wisdom. Maybe I could show you the quilt when it has discovered itself. Maybe I could share it in adorned squares: of photographs, of the little stories, of moments.

But for now, there are breaths to be breathed, and a deeply precious life to be loved.



All is well,
with love,
Leonie

Adventure Time

Off on a WSA (Wild Sister Adventure)!

In the meantime,

Breathe in the beauty
and give it a home inside you.

You have such a cute nose,
Leonie

Holy Mothership Miracle!

Sometimes miracles are waiting just behind you...
Me in the sculpture garden, photograph by JourneyMan


This is a story of serendipity, circumstance and miracle.

This is my story of today.

Yesterday my JourneyMan thought he'd have a look at the National Gallery of Australia website - not really a usual thing for him as we don't get there often. We are more into the National Library for their art exhibitions, funnily enough. He happened upon a new exhibition opening there - Culture Warriors - and thought he might like to go sometime.

Last night I had a night of photographic inspiration, so this morning when I loaded up my handbag, I included my big Canon 30D - not a usual thing at all.

We went to our usual Saturday morning haunts this morning and finished early, so JourneyMan decided to take me to the exhibition. We arrived and it hadn't opened yet, so we roamed around the Sculpture Garden instead, photographing, kissing, exploring, playing with the spring time floss, scoping out the beautiful landscape for future photoshoots. We had so much fun we didn't get into the gallery until half hour after it opened.

As we moved up the escalators, we spotted a group of Aboriginal artists waiting at the front of the gallery. We looked at each other with wide eyes and big grins - "Honey, I think something is happening today."

Then over the loudspeakers, the Gallery tells us that the Culture Warriors exhibition was open, and in five minutes the Aboriginal artists from the exhibition will be speaking on all their paintings.

JourneyMan and I have a deep interest in the Aboriginal culture and artwork. I feel we have so much to learn from them on so many levels, and honour how deeply they love the spirit of this land and Earth.

We walked down to exhibition, and there is a large gathering with a number of TV cameras. A Ngunnawal woman welcomed us and the artists from around Australia to her ancestor's land. At this point, my tears began to flow. I felt so deeply touched by her speaking of her ancestors and her land, and so honoured to be there to hear it.

And then the Aboriginal artists began to speak, sharing their stories about their artworks.

Can you say dream come true?

We moved from room to room. I have been changed by every artist's story.

The old man with his grandson sharing the story of the flying fox.

A younger woman, not much older than JourneyMan, part of the Stolen Generation, and now reclaiming and preserving her culture through art.

The man who began to cry as he spoke about not knowing his language.

So many stories to share. So much healing to take place. So much cultural beauty and spirit to celebrate.

And then, as we moved in a large group into the next gallery room, my eyes glassed over with joy and I lost my ability to speak. There, in front of an incredible portrait of an Aboriginal warrior maiden, was my favourite Australian artist of all time: Julie Dowling.

I actually wrote about Julie on my blog three years ago, and not long after, I got an email from her and her twin sister Carol who had read it. At the time I was blow-my-mind-excited from the email. Can you imagine me today, getting to actually hear her speak? She was candid, warm, articulate and precious. She spoke about finding peace in herself as she grew older, and introduced me to a scientific term that I am already a spiritual believer of.

Ethnobotany is the concept that the more we disconnect from our land, the more unhealthy we become. In other words, touch Mama Earth everyday, and eat from Her bounty.

So by now my head was officially blown off, and was shooting festoons of glitter into the air at random intervals. When the crowd moved into the next room, I took a deep breath and introduced myself to Carol and Julie. THE Carol and Julie. Artists, writers, world-changers and goddesses. And they remembered me! Holy freaking mother miracle! I told them just how much I honoured their work and appreciated what they did. They told me they liked my blog. (Dude! Can you say best day EVER?)

I think I walked away from that on clouds. I met two of my heroes.

We walked into the next room to listen to the next artist, JourneyMan grinning as I made silent joy-shrieks in his shoulder. And then... the thought struck me. I really want to photograph the twins. The vision of the photograph comes to me, and I become obsessed by it. "I need to photograph them" I whisper to JourneyMan. For me, to photograph someone has become to honour them, document their soul beauty and truly see them as they are. It has become a spirit journey, a visual exploration of the divine.

The thought of photographing them struck me as too wild, too deep, too crazy an idea. I couldn't possibly ask them. And we walked out.

And that's where the story ends.

Then I opened a book in the gift store, and there were six photographs of the twins. And I realised that I couldn't let it be where the story ends. I couldn't spend my life wondering - what if? I learned in that moment that I could live with whatever the answer would be, I just couldn't live with not asking the question. I walked back in, still full of fear, humanness and feelings of impossibility. I told my angels - "Please be with me. I am okay if this doesn't happen. But if you put the twins in front of me, I will ask the question."

We walked back, and there in front of me was Carol, with her smiling face.
I said "I have a crazy and wild question for you. It's okay to say no, but I need to ask: May I photograph you and Julie?"

She said yes.

And I had my camera on me.
And I knew where in the Sculpture Garden I could photograph them.

And I was there. And they were there.
And we were willing.

It feels like every perfect part of life lined up today, for a huge mothership miracle dream of mine to come true... the camera, the question, the being there at the perfect time.

I couldn't have planned it better. And maybe that's the point: that the Universe is the Master of Creating Your Dreams for you. Just dream it, and follow your nose. And have little adventures for fun. They may just make your life path blossom with exquisite flowers.

Believe, Believe, Believe.
When you least expect it, your life will change.

Miracles are waiting to enter the wings,
Leonie

(photographs to come)

my sacred life: new sight

New glasses today.
They shimmer with indigo, and they give me new sight.
Ahh, sight. The gift of sight.

My sight is something I have struggled with. As an artist who drinks in the world with her eyes, losing the strength of my eyes each year since I turned 18 has been challenging and fearful. I am grateful that with tender care, their progression into weakness has slowed. They have become my barometer for balance: I cannot spend too many hours soaked in electronic world each day without them telling me it is too, too much. They have become my constant and mindful blessing of gratitude: thank you for serving me, eyes. Thank you for showing me the world. Thank you for seeing in this moment.

I can see each leaf on each tree now, with a breath as refreshing as spring.
Tonight I went to the secret fairy garden in our backyard, and sat in the gladness.

To see the beauty in this world through rich colours and glowing light is sacred.

Dear One

this came out just after i wrote this...


Dear Clinty,

I've been dreaming about you lately.

You've been in my dreams and close to my skin, and when I awake I find you're not just around me but inside me now.

I think, "you are my biggest brother" - not only my oldest, but the biggest - the man who is bigger than the stars and clusters of planets and a field lying yellow in the summer. You are bigger than exquisite possibilities and truth and body, and you teach us that.

A few weeks ago, a boy I knew when I was a teenager died. And he made me think of you. He would have been nearly the same age as you when you died. I turn your eternal age of 25 in a few short weeks. I used to think you were old enough to die - that 25 years is a good go at life. And yet, here I am on the birthing precipice of that age, and there is still so much to do. So much to live and feel and experience and know and do.

I dreamed that you died again, and I began to wail that I was losing you all over again. And the stars came out, and I stopped wailing, and I realised I knew how to grieve now.

My grieving made me yearn to dance, my bare feet thrashing the gravel, my sweat becoming stars, my heart pumping long, loving bursts of blood through me. I wanted to dance you into heaven, I wanted to celebrate you in the ways I now know how to.

I didn't want everyone to go home, to sit in our silent rooms on our own and cry, to not know what to say, to feel that the experience was too uncomfortable to sit with. So I gathered our family and friends together in a big circle near the shed. And we drummed, we sang, we danced, we prayed, we spoke, guiding you home to Great Spirit.

I danced you into me, in that dream.

I danced until my arms were a-swirl and every precious possibility, every piece of love, every dream, every promise, every lifetime was awake.

Today, I wake up and you are with me.

Today, I wake up and something I want falls through, but I feel you beside me, smiling down a thousand lifetimes on me, telling me that everything is sacred, everything is real, everything is new, and everything will happen.

I want to photograph you today. I will photograph the stars and the grass and the great looming trees instead. You are in them.

All My Love,

Bony


And then the sun came out and glowed through the rain
and the whole world looked like a miracle...

All The Ways The Universe Rocks

This is my beautiful little sister Maryanne.

And this is the story of how the Universe totally rocks, in totally unforeseen, unknown and intensely loving ways.

A couple of months ago the opportunity came up for me at work to attend a business conference in Brisbane, where my little sister goes to university. I jumped at it, thinking I could spend a bit of time with her and a number of lovely friends who live there.

And then my little Me-Me got sick with tonsillitis. Again. For the seventh time this year. So now she is having an operation and needs her kin around.

And guess what? It's when I'm there.

And guess what? I just got given extra holidays to tack onto my weekend.

And the day before I need to leave, my big sister is flying in to stay.

So the blessing and the miracle is that I will be in Brisbane for a week to work for a little bit, to hang out with my little sis, tell her hilarious stories, make her jelly, feed her ice-cream and just be with her.

It is a joy that I can do this. That this crazy little set of circumstances has worked out so the sisters can be together for each other. And it is the tenderest honour that I can look after my little one when she needs me.

Sometimes the most healing thing of all is just to be present to love each other.

This Universe leaves me breathless with beauty,
Leonie

The final push

one of the something news

As I birth something magnificent into the world.

As I try something new.

As I take the steps in the directions of where I want to go.

As I gather the courage in my mouth.

As I give it a go.

As I put my heart and soul on the line and the sleeve.
(Maybe that's the only place for them, really).


I want to say right here, right now,
that I am freaking proud of you Leonie.
Go get them dreams, baby.

May you be freaking proud of you too, darling heart.

love and light,
Leonie

Partying on at the Portrait Palace

I had the joy of doing a portrait party with Gail last month.

I regard Gail as being the Queen of Grace ~ she walks her path with tender awareness, a gentle heart, a listening soul, a compassionate mind. I learn from reading her. I expand from hearing her story. The maths equation is simple: Gail = Precious.



Gail collaborated with her gorgeous daughter Kristiana for this portrait of me.
When I opened it up, I had the most star-filled smile on my face... it evokes for me so much beauty and innocence, a mermaid maiden in love with the stars and flowers.

There is so much joy and spirit in this game...
in this honouring of each other, and sharing our truest visions of each other.

May your day be filled with smiles like shooting stars,
Leonie

Meow

Two years ago we took these photos, on a roadtrip with our womenfolk.
She was lithe with dark curls, a dreaming maiden from Brazil.
Yesterday, standing in the hallway of our town's apothecary and bookstore, I hear a "meow" behind me. It is her pet~calling for me.

She is blooming into mamahood now, lifting her black and white cheques to reveal her round belly. Her love is here, and she is moving to our quiet suburb laden with mountains. She is still dreaming, birthing herself into Mother.

Looking through these old photographs today made me smile ~
of who we once were, and who we will be.
And of the photographs that will be in the future...
of a belly that grows even bigger with another soul,
of love unfolding,
of a family growing,
of a medicine woman learning,
of a woman's journey.

Life. Pretty much the best thing ever.

The Perfect Tea

May today gift you a moment of pure bliss.

Some link love for a Thursday night ~
* Christine Kane is an eloquent blog writer on spirit, creating
* I just fell upon the gorgeous website of photographer Gwyneth Colleen today. She is all kinds of unique and spunky.
* I think Suzi Blu's art vlogs are pretty much the coolest shanizzle for the soul since 1997 (when my high schol art teacher wore rainbow pattern jeans).
* For some reason, I really dig John Huck's photography series on people and their breakfast.
* If you haven't listened to the Andi and George band, you are missing out on MAGIC, babycakes.

Things to Do this Life

Two and a half years ago, I started my Things To Do This Life List (which can be read in two parts). Almost two years ago I updated it with pics of missions completed. The lovelies Jen Lemen and Stephanie Roberts have reminded me of this soul~delicious tradition, so it is time to revise, update and add to...
It amazes me how so many of my miracle~dreams have come true, some without even knowing... revisiting this list encourages me to remember what makes my soul juicy and how I want to be in this world.
Go on~ Dream BIG and Create your own :)

Leonie's list of THINGS TO DO THIS LIFE

1. Have a midnight picnic
2. Paint my nails bright purple
3. Have a bicycle with streamers on the handlebars
4. Have henna painted on the palms of my hands - Done.
5. Read tea leaves
6. Learn how to say "thank you" in six languages. - Done.
7. Play Bingo in a Bingo hall.
8. Scuba dive
9. Handglide - I've sky-flied on a wire, which is close... 50% there.
10. Wear a lot of bangles on my wrists so I can make music when I *sashay* - Done.
11. Swim with dolphins - I was so close to doing this in Adelaide...
12. Spread happy graffiti/street stickers - Done.
13. Photograph project of street art - Done.
14. Hold the hands of my beloved on a beach and say *I do* while looking intensely into his eyes
15. Begin & finish my second gratitude journal
16. Finish reading "Women who run with the Wolves"
17. Read "Mists of Avalon" - 50% read, and I think that was all I needed to read, so I am marking this as Done.
18. Read a Henry Miller book
19. Finish an Anais Nin book
20. Have a book launch
21. Write silly and insightful sayings on t-shirts and wear them - Done.
22. Paint like a goddess - Done, and will do for the rest of my life.
23. Watch "What the Bleep Do we Know" - Done.
24. Watch the Qaatsi trilogy - Don't feel the burning wish to anymore.
25. Record a full length song
26. Dance on a table
27. Design my own sticker series
28. Feel truly enriched, uplifted and satisfied by my career. Touch other's lives with my work. - On my journey there!
29. Get published by a publishing house
30. Paint a photo frame - I just finished the most amazing Atlantis Mermaid collaged frame with shells and crystals and seaglass... so DONE!
31. Have a big treasure chest of artsy goodies - Got the goodies, not the chest.
32. Make an altar - Done. This is so much a part of my life now.
33. Cook a creme brulee
34. Play a magical April Fool's Day trick
35. Get an eyebrow ring - Done. And I loved every part of it - getting it, having it, letting it go.
36. Rockclimb - Half done. I rock climb wherever I go, but I want to try out a rockwall.
37. Have bright blue hair
38. Canoe/Kayak on Lake Burley Griffin - Done. I've been sailing on it twice, and hilarious fun ensued.
39. Go to a Sacred Heart Gathering at Uluru - Done. And it was incredible.
40. Howl at full moon - Done.
41. Learn the dates for star signs off by heart - Do I really want to do this anymore?
42. Get a tattoo - Maybe after I am thirty or past my second saturn return.
43. Do an art portfolio up with photos of all my works - Done. And it looks awesome.
44. Learn Tibetan Buddhist meditation
45. Dance on a beach at night
46. Have a LeoniePaLooza - I've had many of them now. :)
47. Sleep under the stars again
48. Hike for three days
49. Eat noodles again at a streetvendor stall in SE Asia
50. Have a hammock.
51. Own a blue car
52. Add to this list
53. Change my name to Leonie Cougar Mellancamp Allan {or not} - Done. I chose Not. :)
54. Dress in disguise - Done.
55. Get so flexible i can bend my head to my knees
56. Work in a bookstore
57. Perform a rain dance - Done, and it worked! Also performed a stop-rain dance.
58. Wear a grass skirt and a coconut bra
59. Get a professional dress-ups photo taken (dressed up like another era) - I was so close to having this happen in a little German town in South Australia, but they'd just closed!
60. Baptise a baby
61. Find a signature perfume scent - Done. My signature scent, I have realised, is no perfume ~ just the sweetness of my hair, the breath of wind around me, and occassional swirls of essential oils. My beautiful friend Angel said to me the other day "I love your smell Leonie. I have a pair of your socks that even smell like you!" I think I realised then my perfume quest was over... my signature scent is me. :)
62. Create a dreamboard - Done.
63. Watch a foal being born
64. Marry myself - Done. I love this so much. Best thing I ever did for me.
65. Give birth
66. Find a song that sings about a Leonie
67. Have no idea about what I'm going to be doing for a year
68. Tell a stranger they look beautiful
69. Give a spontaneous hug to someone I wouldn't usually.
70. Cut and polish a rock
71. Make a plaster cast of my breasts & belly and paint it
72. Belly dance in blue - Done.
73. See a buffalo - oh my god! Done! I loved this so very, very much. I didn't realise it was on my To Do List until just now!
74. Take photos of the red dirt of the Grand Canyon against a blue blue sky.
75. Gondola. Venice.
76. Meet SARK.
77. Paint rocks
78. Paint with ochre rock dust
79. Create my own set of oracle cards - In the process of.
80. Delve and acknowledge the wisdom of my authentic and ancient self - I do, and forever more will do.
81. Drink tea made from loose tea leaves - Done.
82. Make a necklace - Done.
83. White water raft
84. Ride a horse again - Done. And I will again and again.

More things I want to add to my list...
Some are ones that I've already done ~ they were so BIG I didn't even glimpse them when I last updated my list... and yet, here they are, glowing in my life.

85. Lead a womens circle - Done.
86. Run a sacred creative retreat - In the process of creating!
87. Submit a book proposal - So achingly close to this!
88. Appear in a SARK book - Done. RAR!
89. Go to India - 1.5 months to go! This has been a life-long dream of mine.
90. Walk the Camino trail
91. Go to Tibet
92. Read all the books in my bookcase
93. Go to Maccu Piccu
94. Write a book
95. Stay at an ashram in India for a couple of months.
96. Be an apprentice to a Wise One.
97. Enjoy every single day of my life.
98. Live in the country again.
99. Go to a world music/alternative music festival
100. Paint a wall mural
101. Do things just for me.
102. Be in the SageWoman magazine (illustration, article or review)
103. Hold workshops all around the world
104. Hold a workshop with my friend Donna
105. Meet* Doreen Virtue, Julia Cameron or Oprah. Or all three.
106. Set up a healing retreat
107. Be Leonie.
108. Sell a painting to someone in Asia, Africa and South America. (Then I would have a painting in every continent!)
109. Have a neighbourhood progressive dinner.
110. Publish a range of greeting cards.
111. Go to Tasmania with my lover.
112. Return to Uluru.
113. Meet Brooke Medicine Eagle.
114. Go to a residential spiritual retreat.
115. Create a photography website.
116. Have a solo art exhibition - Done. Second one in the making!
117. Bushwalk in the Australian Alps.
118. Travel the NSW South Coast.
119. See James Taylor in concert.
120. Photograph a sublime band for their CD. - In the making.
121. Do The Gift.
122. Go to Japan.
123. Go to the Goddess Conference in Glastonbury.

May we all know our dreams are possible,
with love and light,
Leonie