tenderness in our todays

.

From Follow Your Dreams

Have been working madly away at my new webpage.
Thank you for being so patient.
It will be up within a week or so.

Not time to share yet about the labyrinth. I promise I will.
I'm just letting it sink softly, then rise again to the surface.

~

Life is good.
Regardless of the vagaries of living,
life is worth living if only to have the opportunity
to smell the sweet lemon-vanilla scent of magnolia blossoms,
to see one paper-thin periwinkle butterfly flutter about,
to feel one cool breeze dance across your skin on a warm summer day,
to hear one chickadee call out for a mate,
or to taste the juicy sweet nectar of one ripe peach.
Joy ~ the possibility of joy ~
is abundant even in times of sorrow if only we use our senses.
Love life back.
~~ Claire Prideaux


Reading ~ Women who Run with the Wolves.
Listening ~ Jimmy Little. The old gentleman of country music.
Loving this amazing Zoom Quilt imagery.


Be gentle with yourselves beautiful people.
Be tender in today.

big

My feet and the side of the labyrinth. Today.


Holy
bigger than my belly.

Today has been such a bigger than big day.

Beautiful, full, opening, blossoming, awakening, real, startling.

Confronting my self, embracing my self.

And having others embrace me.

Hugs from near strangers at the labyrinth. Opening arms to the unknown.

I will speak about the labyrinth tomorrow, once I have time to filter
and resonate with it.

But this... this... these words resonate with me now.

Don't worry you will find the answer
if you let it go
give yourself some time to falter
But don't forgo knowing that you're
loved no matter what
and everything will come around in time
~ Sarah McLachlan "Perfect Girl"


I give great thanks to the wondrous group of women who have
drawn me and welcomed me into their circle
great thanks to the wondrous miandering pattern of life's journey
to the makers and keepers of the labyrinth
to those that surround and protect it ~
be it angelic sheep, the sound of didjeridoos or the stillness
of the ancient trees beside it.
and to those who walk the labyrinth.

Blessings.

song of ego & painting joy

Holding the heart, and holding this space.

Painting I did yesterday ~
commissioned to my groovy and pregnacious friend Sally.



The Song of Ego

My ego needs.
My soul has.
My ego tries.
My soul does.

My ego knows the problem that is.
My soul becomes the answer that is.

I am not alone.
within my unlight self:
My ego, my naked death.

I am not alone.
within my snow white heart:
My soul, and my spirit's flame.

~ Sri Chinmoy "Eastern Light for the Western Mind"

~~~

Most beautiful joy upon joys when I returned home today.
I got an email from one of my favourite photographers ~ jen gray.
Just like that. Out of the blue.
Without me doing anything but look at her gorgeous webpage everyday.
An email to tell me that she'd read my blog. that she liked.
i am overwhelmed.
gratitude.
my belly is full. overflowing with gifts, love, joy, growth.
a medicine bundle of beauty.

Goddess of Compassion - Jayne

.

The ever beautiful Jayne.
How strange to have last seen you as a gorgeous teenager
and now see you have blossomed into a gorgeous woman!


It's been a little while since I handed out my last goddess award.
This one has been swimming about in my head for months,
and it is time to let it flower.

I am so grateful for the presence of these beautiful, powerful women in my life.

I'd like to introduce you to the latest inductee to the Leonie Hall of Goddess Fame ~
Jayne Landsberg.

I met Jayne when I was 16 and went to boarding school.
When I first got to boarding school, I was put in White Dorm
with both Goddess Jayne and Goddess Helena (already inducted)
I remember that in the first few nights, Jayne pulled me into her cubicle,
and we gossiped and giggled with Helena
and it was just so lovely and so friendly and homely.
In those moments I realised that I didn't need to be afraid of boarding school and making friends,
because I'd already found them. Right there.
Then the dorm mistress walked in to inspect that everyone was in their beds, and there was a mad scattering
of bodies and flurries into doonas, pretending we were already asleep.

tee hee hee

Within a month, I was moved into Green Dorm, away from Helena and Jayne
I didn't want to leave them but knew that moving into Green Dorm was a wonderful step for me
I was right ~ I met the amazing Zetty and Shannon there
and got to take care of all the younger boarding girls.

The next year though, as senior of Green Dorm, I got to pick another senior
and of course, I chose Jayne.
Jayne to live down the hall from me, Jayne to have a precious window cubicle,
Jayne to help when the beautiful younger girls became brats,
And most importantly, Jayne because I wanted to know her better.

How do I explain the beauty of Jayne to you?

She has the biggest heart.
She is compassionate beyond belief. I cannot tell you how compassionate this girl is.
She puts others before herself always. She boosts and revitalises and saves people on a daily basis.
Sometimes, I wish she could see herself in the same space of compassion, and see herself as we see her:
immensely beautiful, a glorious human bean, loving, loveable, incredible, talented.
She is artistic, and heartfelt.
She has beautiful, overflowing journals. We would eat Tim Tams and sit in our pyjamas and journal merrily away.
We would have conversations during study time. Big conversations. Conversations about life and loving and growing.
She has beautiful flowing handwriting.
She used to have the biggest collection of paint markers that she mysteriously obtained from the art room at school.
We are both such stationery~heads.
She is strong and determined and fiercely loving.
She is a goddess incarnate.
Her room at home is vivid green.
She has a group of guys ~ "her boys" ~ who love her to bits and she loves them back. So beautiful to see such heartfelt cross~gender friendships.
She is the girl who ran barefoot for kilometres along a bitumen road after a runaway girl.
She is the woman who is growing into herself so beautifully.
She is a passionate writer and artist even when she berates herself.
My favourite weekend of all my boarding school days was that long weekend spent on her parent's huge cattle property.
We rode around on the backs of trucks and camped by the river.
We got drunk together in a dried up creek bed, surrounded by good people and an expansive sky.
It was beautiful, and I learned so much in that weekend from her, her land, and her friends.
She sent me an email which overwhelmed me with love and gratefulness:
just to say this blog had made her start writing again.
My heart leapt. The writing of Jayne is so important for this world.
I believe this with all of my innards.
Jayne is the reason I was drawn to crystals.
She had a horse accident, and was in great pain, and I had a vision of her with crystals lying on her back.
I went out and got some shortly after. Though I couldn't cure her pain, it opened a new world for me.
Jayne who left school to study journalism
and became a journalist at the leading state-wide rural newspaper.
Jayne, the cowgirl and Jayne, the city dweller.
Jayne, the girl and Jayne, the woman.
She has beautiful hair. Kind eyes.
The smile which lights a room.
Jayne is succulent in all its many realms.
A beautiful heart, a wondrous spirit, a growing consciousness.

Jayne, today I wish to honour the beauty and friendship you have brought into my life.
You are a true Goddess.
And I love you to bits.

Breakthrough Email of the Week

.

Garden in spring, 2004

Let us rise up and be thankful;
for if we didn't learn a lot
today, at least we learned a
little, and if we didn't learn
a little, at least we didn't get
sick, and if we got sick, at
least we didn't die; so, let us
all be thankful.
~ Buddha

Be thankful for what you have
and you will end up having
more. But if you concentrate
on what you don't have,
you'll never, ever have enough.
~ Oprah Winfrey

This week's breakthrough email made me joyous and grateful and just filled with warmth, love, growth.

Thank you for sharing the moment, Helena.

Wanted to share this with you all because it's such a valuable lesson for us all.

~

"Leonie!

Something just clicked. Just today. It really clicked.
Gratitude. The more I appreciate what I have the more I will have
because... well I'll realise that it is there.
It just all makes sense.
I have so much, so many wonderful people in my life.
Experiences, memories, moments.
It's all just there.

Thankyou for being a part of this ~
helping me to realise the importance of gratitude.

So much blogging to do this weekend!
Very exciting event occurred yesterday.
I'll put up all the details on Saturday.
By the way. Something special to share.
I was reading an article about this very wealthy couple the other day
and sort of thought
"oh wow wouldn't it be cool to be that rich and just be
able to buy whatever you wanted"
and absently minded I said to John
"do you think we'll be wealthy?"
he said to me. "We already are.
And we will only continue to become more so
the more love we share with ourselves and others".

It stopped me in my tracks.
And yeah he's right.
Love to you Onie.

Love Helena"

~

God. That's just a bloody good email
and such an amazing realisation.
I'm giving you a standing ovation hun ;)

Gratefulness

From Follow Your Dreams

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon,
but that we wait so long to begin it.
~ Anonymous

Breakthrough Email of the Week Award goes to Helena

for her beautiful words on awakening to gratitude.

~

Gratitude Journal

If I could ask you to do one thing for yourself, would you do it?

Go out. Get a blank book. A colourful book. A pretty book.

Or even just a lined paper book.

Cover it in stickers, your favourite pictures, or just your name.

Leave it blank.

Open it. And each night, or each day,

write ten things you are grateful for that day.

If it's been a shithouse day, it may even just be a good hot mug of tea

or the fact that the day is over.

Journal your gratefulness.

Just ten things ~ then you can say you have two handfuls of blessings.

Somedays your list will be longer, much longer than you could imagine possible.

There is so much to be grateful for in our lives, and writing it out every day will make you so much more aware of it.

~

You know what I am so so grateful for today?

1. Lile. Her heartfelt advice and words calmed my heart this morning.

2. Krispy Kreme donuts afternoon tea care of groovy co-worker.

3. Deb's sharing. Her teachings to me about self preservation, boundaries and energy vampires were well needed.

4. Beautiful email from Helena made my day. Sharing the breakthrough she'd had on gratitude, and seeing the beauty she has in her life. It was delightful to read. Her sharing taught me lessons within itself. After reading it, I got up, walked to Lile's desk and spontaneously gave her a hug. I just had to share the moment with someone.

5. Surprise phone call from Chris at 4.45, telling me to meet him at the record store just down the street. So I go. And I find a handsome dude hanging out at the heavy metal section, and decide I must keep him. So I do :)

6. Bought two beautiful instrumental CDs for painting and journalling time ~ Oceans of Tranquillity and Simple Pleasures. They are cheap, and they are delightful. Just what I dreamed of.

7. Beautiful surprise dinner with Chris at a Thai resturant, Zen Yai. My favourite meal of Phad Thai, in my favourite resturant with my favourite boy. I loved sharing it with him. We have decided to make one weeknight a week our "date night" and tonight was our first. It was just so damn nice to sit in the quiet resturant, watching the world finish work and drive home, while we sat in the cool, drinking green tea. Having quiet moments and long conversations. It was like catching up with a much loved friend, and falling in love again.

8. A blessing in itself: when we finally got home, the dog hadn't gnawed his leg off in hunger. Once home, he managed to get out through the fence, and just sat there outside our gate waiting for us to notice him. When Chris did notice him, he came when he was called and went straight back in the yard. I am so thankful that he didn't run onto the road or run away. Yay Charlie! We love you!

9. A package waiting for me on my balcony from the divine Lisa Marie. How sweet it is to be loved by you. I dressed in my favourite purple dress, lit some Bhagavad Gita incense, lit a strawberry candle, and took a few moments to express gratitude for the package and the love it was sent with. And then I opened. Art cards. The most amazing blue necklace ~ how can someone a world away who hasn't met me know my taste EXACTLY? Princess hairclips. A SARK card. Scented soap from Soap Opera. Mixed music CDs. And the most beautiful thing of all. A cassette tape. Not ANY old cassette tape. A cassette tape letter, spoken by Lisa Marie, to me. I cannot express to you how divine it was to hear her voice. It was like having a conversation with her. I was transfixed. She has the most beautiful, soft, girly but goddess~like voice. Giggly. Kind. Warm. It sounded so familiar. Lisa Marie is such a kindred spirit, and it was such an affirmation to hear her. Her telling stories of her day, of her reading poetry on a radio station. Interspersed with bursts of Celtic music and snippets of old movies her boyfriend was watching. Oooh. I just loved it. I love HER!
You should have seen me listening to it. It was the best entertainment I have had in yonks. I lay on my stomach in bed, face cupped in hands, staring out the window, just listening to her voice. It's the first time I have had someone send me a cassette letter, and it brought me so much joy.
Thank you dearest Lisa Marie for the immensely beautiful package, the necklace, the joy of hearing your voice. I am still in wonder. I can't wait to listen to it allllll. And then rewind and hear it all over again.

Me and my new neckplace. Like we'd never been apart.

10. You know what else I'm really grateful for? Sharing this journey with you. I receive such heartfelt responses from people. It is a delight and a joy. I love hearing from you all. You all are such incredible, divine beings, each doing work to make this world a better place. I believe in each one of you. I believe in me. Yes, we can grow. We can discover. We can give ourselves the love we seek. It's all there at our fingertips. We each have it. The capacity for joy is inside each of us. Always.

Joy is an option.

Love,
Leonie

struck

pic from email forward today...


"It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others."
~ Sydney J. Harris

beautiful joys

A beautiful photo by the ever delightful Deb.

See the most amazing flower on the tree?
That's Deb. she is the goddess of hearts, sharing, love.
She is creative and magical in conversation and connections.

"The art of being yourself at your best is the art of unfolding your personality into the man (or woman) you want to be. Be gentle with yourself, learn to love yourself, to forgive yourself, for only as we have the right attitude toward ourselves can we have the right attitude toward others."
- Wilfred Peterson

A beautiful day.

Lately I have been having visions ~ of being born, of being a gypsy woman
and today, in the bathrooms at work (where all great thoughts take place)
I saw a large printed butterfly before my eyes.

Inspired by lush Lile's gorgeous bracelets she made...
I can't wait to be able to show you them on her coming soon webpage
It has been so beautiful to see her ideas and dreams formulate, grow, flourish
into a great big creative tree ~
with a beautiful blue stoned bracelet as its flower.

Love this photo by dearest Deb of me and Chris at our birthday brunch ~



Tonight went to see the amazing Ellanita, the "leader" of the women's group
We had such a good, honest, beautiful conversation
she gave me ideas of books to read
and what to expect.
We are going to a labyrinth on Sunday, should be a beautiful experience.
She told me she saw butterflies and winged ones all about me,
playing in my hair, fluttering, flying energy.
We talked about how I was feeling ~ what element I equate to at the moment
I feel like water ~ flowing, joyful, moving and grooving.

For those who've been reading my blog for a while,
you might recall the post of reconnecting with my brother who has passed away
through a clairvoyant on a radio
As it turns out, the clairvoyant used to attend the women's group that I'm now in.
Funny how these connections take place, isn't it?
That's my third connection ~
first through Deb,
second through my friend Ben's friendship with Raquel
and now the clairvoyant.
All such seemingly seperate connections
and yet intrinsically joined.

Driving home I started crying
everything is just so so beautiful and amazing
I'm HERE, I keep telling myself.
It took me all my life to get HERE.
What a beautiful thing!

Bridget the clairvoyant was on the radio again as I drove home.

And then a song ~ Landslide, the Stevie Nicks song, redone by Dixie Chicks.

I took my love, I took it down

Climbed a mountain and I turned around

I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills

And I see the beautiful Brindabella mountains in the night
and I know,
yes
I am supposed to be here

I turn into the driveway, and there is the most amazing cloud light by the twilight.

I took my own advice, and looked outside the window.
Yep, it's heaven out there.

"The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper."
~ Eden Philpotts

Feature Artist of the Week ~ Raquel Clark

“The Four Seasons”


I know I haven’t done this for a little while ~ I don’t wish to have a featured artist just for the sake of it,
I want to have artists who I believe in, and who touch me with their talent.

This week’s featured artist of the week is Raquel Clark.

I met Raquel through the women’s group I recently went to.
Funnily enough though, Raquel is friends with my friend Ben

And so often I’ve heard him talk of his friend Raquel!

And now I’ve met her, but through a different circle ~ the circle of Deb and her beautiful women friends.

So over these last few days I’ve gotten to know Raquel better,
And she shared with me some of her art, which I dearly love!

It is gorgeous, and goddess inspired, and fantasy, and reality all combined

In a colour*filled canvas of dreams.

One day soon there’ll be a gallery with her work in it!

Thank you for sharing with me, Raquel.

I have so enjoyed our first steps in getting~to~know~yous
And am looking forward to many more!

World, meet Raquel.

Raquel, meet world!

butt naked crazy dancing

Loved this journal ~ loved her drawings.
Especially loved Penelope’s “Doodles of Gratitudes” blog!

~

Happiness is itself a kind of gratitude.
~ Joseph Wood Krutch


When we learn to give thanks, we are learning to concentrate
not on the bad things, but on the good things in our lives
~ Amy Vanderbilt





I am so very excited about this weekend – I am doing a labyrinth workshop with the women’s group,

And I’ve just started reading up on it, researching labyrinths.

"Your life is a sacred journey. And it is about change, growth, discovery, movement, transformation, continuously expanding your vision of what is possible, stretching your soul, learning to see clearly and deeply, listening to your intuition, taking courageous challenges at every step along the way. You are on the path... exactly where you are meant to be right now... And from here, you can only go forward, shaping your life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing of courage, of beauty, of wisdom, of power, of dignity, and of love."
~ Caroline Adams

What else have I learned of late?

Oh yes. I had an interesting talk with bus friend Paris yesterday.

He talked of a 20 year school reunion, and how it was melancholic to think that in another 20 years, he would be attending a funeral of one of his school buddies.

It made me think though.

We all put certain estimates on our own life.
We all think we have time to spare to do this, and that,
But that time is not assured.
We may not live until we are old.

My little sister is 17 and just graduated from school.
One of her friends was killed in a car accident last week.
My own brother passed away when he was 25 years old.

The point of this, however, is not to be depressing.

It is to be joyful.

We have such precious little time on this earth,
And yet we postpone joy, we postpone living our dreams
Until everything is “just perfect”

Can I tell you something?

It’s perfect now. Just as it is.
I’m not kidding. Look outside the closest window:
It’s heaven out there.
Look in the mirror or a clear puddle, see inside:
You’re a divine being in there.

This morning as I got out of the shower,
Stared in the mirror,
I heard a voice say to me:

Today’s the day. Live how you want to live.

Be who you want to be, right now.

So I danced butt naked down the hallway,

And me and the dog did a happy jig together
Crazy dancing and crazy giggling
Running circles around the room
Stretching like a ballerina

Just because I could and because I wanted to be that way.

monday, painting a life

Painting commissions done tonight for the ever effervescent Sweet Tonica.


In the dew of little things, the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
~ Kahlil Gibran
The Prophet

We are, each of us angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another.
~ Luciano de Crescenzo

Today a new sun rises for me;
everything lives, everything
is animated, everything seems
to speak to me of my
passion, everything invites
me to cherish it.
~ Anne de Lenclos

Every morning is like a new reincarnation into this world. Let us take it then for what it is and live each moment anew.
~ Paul Brunton


Appreciation of life itself,
becoming suddenly aware
of the miracle of being alive,
on this planet, can turn what
we call ordinary life into a
miracle. We come awake to
such a realization when we
recognize our connection to
a spiritual dimension.
~ Dan Wakefield

If you wish to travel far and
fast, travel light. Take
off all your envies,
jealousies,
unforgiveness,
selfishness
and fears.
~ Glenn Clark

I always find it amazing when things line up in syncronicity.



Somedays, the beautiful emails I receive in my inbox daily, speak and resonate with each other.

Somedays, they all say the same powerful message to me.

Today was one of those lovely somedays.



What did they say to me?



Be renewed everyday by the beauty of this world.

Cherish it, love it, be grateful for it.

Become today the person you can be.

Live life fully, and lightly.



In other realms of syncronicity, refer to the blog of dreams I made on Friday.

What did I have sitting in my inbox this morning?

An email from my friend!

Wonders of wonders.



And also, on the weekend, at the Hierophant bookstore, my eyes were caught by a beautiful book with uneven pages.

I have not seen this book before, or the writer, and I was intrigued.

I promised myself that I would seek more of her books out.

Then, out on an adventure walk at lunch with dearest Deb, we meander into a bookstore

And walking past shelves of books, she exclaims over a book she loved.

I look ~ and yes, it is the author I had been looking for.

Funny that!



PS ~ I’m still singing Happy birthday in my heart to you Zetty. Have been thinking of you all day.



Nightime...
A big night.
Posted first page of www.leonielife.com
with the help of the beautiful Dan
did some painting commissions
it nears midnight.
time for sleeps.
exhausted, but creative beam humming.

love to you all.
xoxo

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZETTY BRAKE!

_





Happy birthday, my dearest friend Zetty.

You know what hun?

I was trying to think of where I had a photo of you.
And after seeing the beautiful Helena's blog, I remembered:

A looseleaf printout of the above photo, that I still have in my journal.
I had it blu-tacked to my dormitory wall when I was 17,
and she lived just down the hallway from me.

So I share it with you.

Now, how do I explain the wonder of Zetty to you?

She is the smartest chick I know.
Amazing black hair and blue eyes.
She eats Milo straight out of the tin.
We met at boarding school when I was 16.
I used to edit her essays, and then sit outside her cubicle and slurp soup.
She is an awesome artist.
We used to run with each other to chase the ice cream man.
She took hard maths, and physics. I looked on in wonder.
When she was 17 and graduated from school,
and she took off to Canada for a year as an exchange student.
By herself. To foreign country. Age 17.
She is an amazing photographer.
She came back, and decided to change her university degree to journalism.
So she did that. And during it, she took a semester of study over in England.
She travelled around Ireland.
She came back to Australia.
Finished her degree, about to start her honours.
And I get a message on my phone:
If you got offered a job in Thailand for two years, what would you do?
She said yes.
So now, at 21... now 22 years of age,
the amazing Zetty is working as a volunteer journalist in Malaysia,
working to raise the awareness of Burmese refugees.

Not many 22yos can say they've done that, hey?

And still Zetty emails me saying:
I don't think I'm doing enough sometimes.

I wanted to share with you a special piece of writing.
It is a letter.
I have kept it in my journal all this time.
It is a letter from Zetty to me, when she was leaving school.
I would like to send this back to Zetty, because it expresses my sentiments exactly.

"All I really want to say is thanks for being there, and for being my friend,
and for allowing me to kick your ass when running for the ice-cream man.
I don't use the word best when trying to describe a friend,
because that indicates only one,
but you've become like a sister to me.

A sister who's been there for everything: the pain, the joys, and the leaving.
I guess what I am trying to say is thank you for allowing me to get to know you,
and for letting me share this year.

You are a very precious individual, who I know will be there for everyone,
despite of her own problems.

A word of advice, sometimes weakness is a sign of immense strength.

Love."

There are so many reasons to love Zetty.
Many excuses to be a part of the Zetty Fan Club, for which I am self-elected President.

1. Her laugh. Infectious, loud, without doubt.

2. Her name. There is only one Zetty Brake. Watch out people, coz she's going to be famous.

3. Her loyalty. She is the most loyal friend I have. She knew me, and loved me, when I had bad taste in boys, and loves me even know when my taste has improved. In the five years of our friendship, we have only been in physical distance of each other for one. The rest, has been scattered with the distance of cities and countries. And yet, still, she is the one who knows me more than the rest. We have grown closer even in distance.

4. Her phonecalls. The phone connections we have had still stick in my mind. The laughter, sharing, opening. Tears and giggles.

5. Her courage. Jetsetter. Off to all over the world. Adventurer. Living dreams and an amazing life.

6. Her beautiful vulnerability. She is so humble sometimes I want to kick her butt.

7. Her uniqueness. The most intriguing cosmic blend of intelligence, humour and quirkiness.

8. Her honesty. Zetty is the most honest person I know. She speaks her own truth. Always.

9. All these things and more, make Zetty an incredible person, and an incredible friend.

10. Because ten is an awesome number, and Zetty is an awesome person.

You are very loved.

Happy birthday, Zetty, my dearest friend.

I honour this day that you were born, and for the presence you are in my life.

Love,
Leonie

sunday

Earth has no sorrows that heaven cannot heal.
~ Thomas Moore.

Quiet, lovely day.

Spoke to the amazing Sonia ~ all the way from Canada.
Hard to believe that since school in Charters Towers in Northern Queensland,
we have spread out to the other side of the country, and the other side of the world.

Went for a drive to the Hierophant bookstore,
bought a meditation book.
Secured ourselves a copy of Sims 2. That game rocks!

Home again.
Did some design work for my new webpage...
Oooooooooh... yes... a NEW WEBPAGE!
One with all my art and photography... and of course, this blog.
Shall be revealed all in good time...

Did some painting, which I am very happy with...
Will post a pic when it's finished!

dreams of opening

Had dreams upon dreams last night

I was with friends in one dream, friendships from the past who still radiate in the present. And we were sitting at a table, laughing, chatting.
Another friend walks by. She too, is a friendship from the past, but is one that has fallen from the table by the weight of time and distance.
And she looked sad and lost and didn't understand and just didn't look like herself.
She ran down to the beach, and I followed, trying to get her to see why I had to let go of holding the glass ball of friendship if the weight wasn't shared.
And when I awoke, I realised it doesn't really matter in the end. Do you know what I mean?
There could be years lost when a person thinks the glass ball is shattered, when it isn't.
I'm still holding the ball within the folds of my cloak.
It doesn't shine like it used to, but it has the potential to.
I don't want to get to the end of my life, whenever that may be, and think to myself that things could have been better.
I don't want rifts to still exist, without me reminding:
I am still here. I still love you. Friendships are ephemeral.
I don't want to live with anything but an open heart.
The rest of my life, I live with a heart opening, and loving.
And it pains me that in this instance I don't.
I harbour grief, and pain, and yes, some anger.
I'm going to change that.
Yup.
Coz it's not really about who did what or who's to blame.
It's not about "but they did this..." and keeping score.
It's about being your best self.
It's about treating each day as it's most precious.
Not thinking that the years themselves will mend these things...
because we may not have years.
And do I really want to lose years because of a closed heart?
Nope. Hell no.
I am not really sure what the response will be, when I re-extend my hand.
Silence? Perhaps.
A half hearted extension back, only to fall into old habits? Perhaps.
Or, joy upon joy, a rain which renews a whole garden of roses? Perhaps.
The response isn't what I am doing this for though.
Hope of hope, I hope it is the renewing of gardens, but it may not be.
What's more important is how I live my life ~
with an open hand of cards, a visible heart,
loving even in silence.
Love is all that we really have, isn't it?
And these connections that we make with other people ~
they are the gold threads of our life.

I love you all, dearly.
Leonie

Happy birthday

Happy birthday my dearest partner, boyfriend, lover, best friend, companion.
You are the yang to my yin.

I give blessings for the day you entered this world.

Onwards we travel, together.

How lucky I am to have you.
You, the man who is unlike any I have ever met.

My first thought when I met you?
You were the most beautiful man I had ever laid eyes on.
And now?
The same.

Love, bigger than us, Love,
me
xoxo

Ju~Ju

Photo from an email forward today

Expect to have hope rekindled.
Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways.
The dry seasons in life do not last.
The spring rains will come again.
~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

Feeling so emotional and teary today.
My little sister's friend was killed in an accident.
17, a twin, four days before graduation.
A pregnant woman died in an accident on the road near our house the same day.
My boy has a severe toothache and hasn't slept well for a week.
Just all these things piling up, and squeezing out a well of tears.
I know this feeling will pass, and gradually it is...
but I just feel so emotional, sad, and just the teensiest bit lost.
And that's okay.

There is still immense caverns of beauty in this world:~
an intensely beautiful email from the amazing Zetty questioning her own cocoon
photos from Lisa Marie showing me her gorgeous university (in Wisconsin)
a yummy lunch with lush Lile, dearest Deb and sublime, pregnacious Sally.
Sally grabbed my hand, planting it on my tummy, as the little human bean growing in her kicked... amazing!

Love in a letterbox

Letter from LM

Beautiful poem today...

"Life is good.
Regardless of the vagaries of living,
life is worth living if only to have the opportunity
to smell the sweet lemon-vanilla scent of magnolia blossoms,
to see one paper-thin periwinkle butterfly flutter about,
to feel one cool breeze dance across your skin on a warm summer day,
to hear one chickadee call out for a mate, or
to taste the juicy sweet nectar of one ripe peach.
Joy - the possibility of joy - is abundant even in times of sorrow
if only we use our senses.
Love life back."
~ Claire Prideaux


Immensely touched today by mail.
Yes, mail.

A beautiful card (tree~free paper!) from the beautiful Lisa Marie
I cried when I read it.
I have to read it over and over again to comprehend it.
She tells me that the air is cleaner, the sun is warmer, since she met me.
How could it be that those words formed?
I am immensely grateful, dear, dear LM.
I am overwhelmed, speechless.
You are beautiful.
Still softly sobbing, laughing, dreaming, inside from it.
I can not enunciate the profound effect it has on me.



Parcels from Gaby

A parcel by the amazing, gorgeous, polka~dot~glorious, rainbow California Poppy/Gaby.
A parcel labelled "The Birthday Girl"
And inside ~ delight of delights was a number of
brown paper packages, tied up with purple string...
(these are a few of my favourite things! Come on people, let's burst into song here,
a la Sound of Music!)
Oh yes! The joy of brown paper packages!
Different sized packages, each holding a surprise!
Hurrah! Such joy!
I relished them.
Read the card first, drinking in the words, then
Opened them carefully, one by one.
Yum! A polka dot notebook, dolphin paper, a beetle stamp, whimsical hair pins!
Tee hee hee!
Made me feel oh so thirteen, oh so juicy, oh so loved!
Thank you dear, amazing, harlequin Gaby!
You are the shiniest sequin!

~~~

I am immensely blessed by these two everyday miracles.
Love in a letterbox.
Love from around the world, and back again.

~~~

Today, at work, we proclaimed it to be "Spunk Monkey Screensaver Day"
We googled for our choice spunk monkeys...
Lile had Viktor blahblah from LOTR,
Bridget had Brad Pitt and George Clooney,
Rob had Hugh Jackman.
I started with Colin Firth, then migrated to John Corbett, then Kevin Spacey
until I found this Bill Pullman pic...



I had this exact picture as a poster when I was 17.
I just loved everything about the photo ~
the natural*ness, the real*ness, the beauty of B&W.

And I found the guy who took the pic... PAXTON
Well call me blown away... the guy is amazing.
Check out his celeb portraits, his travel photography.
The colours are divine... the composition perfect.
Yes, yes and Yes!

~~~

I would so dearly love to hear from all those reading this blog...
whether you are reading it for the first time, or are a repeat offender.
I promise to reply. :)

Blessings,
Leonie

goddesswomannew

Goddess for a new journey, painted this evening.

"Everything in the Universe is interconnected. Each thought, action and event in the universe is connected, and influences each other. Each thought and action causes reactions and repercussions.
Everything in the Universe is energy. We see differences because each object has a different wave length and density. We live in an ocean of energy."
~ The Daily Guru

They are right, you know.

Last night, I went for the first time, to a women's group with my dear friend Deb.
Yes, a women's group.
A group of women.
But more. Women open for juicy living, no matter what that may bring.
Women ready for sharing, and loving, and movements.
Fellow travellers of the journey.

I was ready for a new adventure, and the opportunity presented itself to me.
I took it.

I walked into the room, and felt at home.
The incense drew me instantly back to a time of innocence, wisdom, adventure
~ Me, 18, travelling alone in Malaysia,
The smell of the incense in the temples ~ chinese, indian, traditional malay.
The scent of magic, intoxicating and real.

The room was lit by candles, and a circle of women were arranged around it
On comfy sofas, wicker chairs, ground pillows.
Friendly, familiar faces.
Each beautiful in their own divine way.

And there was sharing, and laughing, and quietness.
Discussions, and connecting, and divinity, other worlds.
Talk of wolves, of tribes, of labyrinths.

I saw before me a page turning, a new chapter unfolding.
Mist clearing gently from my path, revealing a new stone.

A safe circle of women.
A flow of energy.

They gave dearest Deb a statue for her birthday
It was of a nude woman, long hair, head resting on upright knee, fingers languid.
Peaceful. Safe.
And one said: this is how we feel around you Deb.

I had to smile.
Yes. Yes it is.

Later, in a quieter moment, I leant up against Deb's chair
And she stroked my hair.
B l i s s.
I was the girl in the statue, sitting, head resting on upright knee,
Peaceful. Safe. Surrounded with love.

I so rarely have been in such a conscious group before.
This is *b i g*, you know?
Bigger than I've experienced before.

The thing that most touched me about the group was the movement of energy.
The holding of hands, the vibrations pulsating through me, the wonder of it all.
Connecting to ourselves, each other, and other circles out there ~ of women and men.
It touched me profoundly.

I drove home in a wonder*filled daze.

Later, as I was falling to sleep, I thought to myself quietly:

So how did you feel about THAT?
And I saw a vision - my body, with paint on it.
Deeper than paint, it was a part of my body.
And the paint?

Red, a deep vibracious red.
The red of my blood, of all that intertwines.
It etched the deep words:
Y E S.

It shouted from my belly and it called to the world
Howling like the wolves we spoke about,
Hungering to meet new tribes, and join old ones
Speaking to the wild, and to me
Y E S.

And then I wafted into sleep
shaped by the smell of lavendar on my pillow
Warmed by dreamtime tea
And in my sleep I dreamt
Of me as a wild woman self.
Y E S.

enough...

My toes in the sand of Forster, NSW
October 2004


One we discover how to appreciate the timeless values in our daily experiences, we can enjoy the best things in life.
~ Harry Hepner

Cause that's all we really have, isn't it?

The daily experiences.

Subtle tones of magic, beauty, intense love.
In every breath, step, taste, word, laughter.
Every hand extended, fear conquered,
dream awakened, bird flying.
To have ourselves, and to have the universe,
to have and to hold from this day forth.
Being kissed by the wind, glowing by the sun,
held by the rocks, loved by the world.

Isn't that enough?

~

Surfing paradise:~
The global photo gallery of Sorry Everybody
The mianderings of Woman Child
Found on a favourite American photography blog of mine, Jen Gray,
a link to her favourite photographers ~ JinkyArt...
and where are they? In my town, my state, my country.
Check out their photo blog... Just divine!


love, laughter, light
Leonie

beautiful brunch

The girls ~ Lile, Deb, me

Reality is permeated, indeed flooded, with divine creativity, nourishment, and care.
~ Marcus J. Borg

On Sunday, we went to Tidbinbilla National Park to softly celebrate my birthday...

"we" ~ Chris, me, Deb, Lile

We sat at a table overlooking the mountains.
We ate beautiful food ~
fruit salad, strawberry champagne,
Deb's love*filled pie, Lile's amazing sweets.

It was cool, but the company warmed us.


Lile & Deb


Ze three amigos


Two halves...

Later, we walked up the hill beside us, and found a cluster of gorgeous rocks.
They were just so beautiful and peaceful, overlooking the valley,
and the surrounding mountain range...


Lush Lile from my perspective...


Me from Lile's perspective...


Dear Deb...

When we came down from the mountain,
we ate the remains of my "Happy Birthday" cake which
Deb made into a "Happy Sunday" cake.
tee hee hee...



Then we drove up to my favourite place ~
Hanging Rock.
It is a huge rock that stands on the top of a hill,
surrounded by forest, a river at its foot.
It was originally an Aboriginal shelter...
and everytime I go there, I am awed, and I am at peace.
It was pure joy to share it with Deb & Lile.



In some other timeline, some other world,
we are still all there...
living beneath the embrace of the rock,
pressing ourselves to it,
hugging the trees beside it.

And that was it.
That was our brunch.
Simple, but so so beautiful.
To be with my favourite Canberra people,
enjoying my favourite Canberra land.

Couldn't ask for more could I?
Happy birthday me!

bodacious birthday

Birthday card from Deb.

The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.
- Rabindranath Tagore

So many moments which make up that which is my birthday.

Awakening, to my boy, and my dog.
A gift of a bag of art goodies, and a card which made me cry with happiness.

A shower, then my favourite pink dress.

To work, a beautiful gift on my desk from my boss.

My brother calls ~ my childhood hero.
I hang up with a smile on my face. He is divine.



At noon, I am whisked away to a surprise lunch ~
a picnic with Deb and Lile, hidden in a meeting room at work
the windows taped up, purple picnic mat, succulent food,
candles, goddess cards, fairy bread, West Coast coolers.
We all wear party hats, and I wear a tiara.





We giggle, and tell stories.
We drink West Coasts with straws and little umbrellas.



And then we eat triple decker chocolate cake made by Deb.
The most amazing, sumptious cake ever.



Then we head off on Phase 2 of our lunch...
we walk out to a park by the lake,
strolling through ponds and statues.



across bridges over lakes of lilies...



My two dear friends Deb and Lile...

Dearest Deb Goddess



Lush Lile Goddess



An adventure walk past flowers,
and over rock bridges with water streaming through.



We end up by a waterfall



and we sit, and I am gifted...
gifted with such beautiful, thoughtful presents...

a cartoon card of her own design,
beautiful handmade earrings and a bracelet (also of her own design),
a fairy notepad and a flower ball from the lush Lile

a gorgeous card of three girls around a maypole,
and an incredible moon sculpture wall hanging with a story to go with it.

Awed. By the beauty of it all, the moments,
the friendships.



Afterwards, Chris picks me up.
We have sushi, and come home.
A quiet night.

But yes, a bodacious birthday.

Tomorrow, I will write of my brilliant birthday brunch I had today.

Until then, I love you all.

And today, Sunday,
I was immensely, immensely touched
by the I love you's from
Dan and Zetty.

Two of the most incredible people I know.
I heart you.