oh Lisa Marie...

look what was mystically created today
and will be magically appearing in your letterbox soon!





love you dear LM,
Leonie

lotus goddess creation

been painting softly away today,
trying to get over this cold...
and relishing in the paintwork.

I call this one Lotus Goddess ~ she is a replica of another one I've done... just with a different facial expression.





If I can say one thing to anyone, it is:
Create.
Do it.
Pick up that charcoal, paintbrush or pen.
Doodle, paint, smooth, colour, texture, draw.

Do not impose expectations on how it "should" look.
Do not say "But I can't draw."
Yes, you can. We are all blessed with the ability to draw.
Unless you have no hands, and even then you can use your mouth.

Create because it feels good.
Because it allows new and secret sides out,
to whisper and shout on paper.

Create because you can.
because it's fun. it's joy*full.

Paint your pain, your story, your love, your life.
Draw what you need to say to the world.
Or even just what you need to whisper to yourself.

Go forth, love beans,
and Create.

I am a mermaid....

Today's art project, inspired by the Leonie is a Mermaid blog.








Three succulent things I did today.

1.) Above. A mermaid self portrait. Scribing and brushing my life.
2.) Planted herbs for my windowsill. My marigolds are growing marvellously, and I love their cheerful presence.
3.) Gave Chris a massage with lavendar oil. The smell of lavendar is intoxicating and soft, and gentle.

Three more succulent events.

1.) Talking to dear Lisa Marie.
2.) Both me and the boy are sick today, so we are gentle with ourselves, and slowly moving.
3.) Our rose garden just bursting with juicyness.

Old pics of me

Sorting through computer folders I found old photos of me from a year ago.
What a funny retrospective.
In two weeks (Nov 12) I will be turning 22.
When these photos were taken, I was just beginning to think of turning 21.
And now... 22.
21 has been a big year, a magical year.
And I am hoping for more of the same for 22.

Look at me... I didn't know back then what I know now.
How remarkable.

Surfing, spinning, reflections, love!

Change is the constant, the signal for rebirth, the egg of the phoenix.
- Christina Baldwin

~*~*~*~

Surfing ~

Super Hero Designs journal
Vibrant, reflective.

Penelope Illustration
Cheerful, warm.

Learning to love you more
Creative, thoughtful.

Wish jar journal
Art and words of life.

Omplace
Amazing spirit cards.


Want one of these.


~*~*~*~

Reflections.
Today.

Surprise trip to the post office and the sausage roll shop in the morning with Deb and Lile.

Shopping with the brilliant Ben today for his fancy dress outfit ~ as Darcy from Pride and Prejudice. The dude has taste! I always enjoy our little adventures together.

Anger and frustration melding into calm and enthusiasm as the shades of day progress. Finding my path back to love and self love after momentarily being thrown from the path.

Easier now to fall back into that place of peace within myself. The womb of the universe within me ~ a place of safety, warmth, knowledge, wisdom, calm ~ close to the bosom of earth and sky mother. It is ever closer, and ever touchable.

In moments of wiping snotty sobs into teatowels, crumpled on the kitchen floor; I am still heartbeats away from her... but no longer the distance of aeons. Only heartbeats away from the embrace of the Goddess.

It is cold again. The wind is wrestling and making out with the trees out in the night. Full moon draws near. I sense it in the unrest, the sporadic vibrations, the outbursts of people, the wilderness emerging. Like the earth mother having her periods ~ hee hee ~ that's how it is!

~*~*~*~

What I love...

My two C's ~ Chris and Charlie. Both asleep in the bedroom, lying on their backs, softly snoring. Too cute for words!
My little sister. About to finish school and go to Italy and Switzerland for a couple of months! What an adventure.
My big sister. Beauty personified. All of her quirky little emails to say Hi.
My bro. Just always so dang lovely and big brotherly.
Zetty on her Thailand adventure. Her story about delivering a computer via bus and tuk-tuk still makes me gigglesnort.
Charlie, Jayne. My two beautiful Brisbane friends from way back when.
Dan. I always love Dan. Always will. Always have.
Deb and Lile. Wonderful workmates, gorgeous goddess, dear friends.

~*~*~*~

Spinning:

Jimmy Little. Gentleman. Soul man. Songs from an Australia gone by. Songs of home. Songs to be cocooned by, comforted by. The deep voice of an angel.

Wendy Matthews. Lady. Soft, strong, gentle, ferocious. Songs of love and lacking and life and clear skied days.

~*~*~*~

Final Say:

It's nearly Friday people!
Enjoy!


Every second can be bliss, so what are you waiting for?

Words. Mermaid. Rumi.

The beautiful Deb sent me this after reading the "Leonie is a Mermaid" post.
Astounding. Yes. Exactly.


Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.
- Annette Funicello

Let your heart's light guide you to my house.
Let your heart's light show you that we are one.
- Rumi

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.
- Marcel Proust

Finally I looked within my own heart and there
I found Him - He was nowhere else.
- Rumi

Leonie the Mermaid

So today, I was asked by three people where my latest blog was...
It just made me sit up and think... Oh! People are reading this stuff! It's part of their daily habit! Wow!
I remember back in the first few weeks of this blog starting, when dearest Helena wrote in an email to me saying it was part of her daily lunchtime routine ~ to look at my blog. I felt so chuffed by it! To be read by someone every day!
Then today, three lovely girls from work asked me about the absence of a Monday blog...
And I just didn't realise that it would be missed.
So thank you, lovely lovelies for letting me know. I do so appreciate it!

The lush Lile emailed me at work saying: “If you need something to talk about in your blog, I’ll give you something.” She waits until I receive it, open it, read it. Then she walks to my desk and proceeds to silly~dance, and then air~guitar. It was hysterical, spontaneous and entirely sweet. The dear Deb visits our desks, and when she leaves, I am breathless for laughter.

So dear, readers… this is me…

This week, I feel a little bit like I am "in hold mode" ~ like when a plane is ready for take off, and it is waiting for its signal. Its where things have changed, and I'm just having a rest and reflection before the next wave of change comes to surge around me and lift me deliriously from my feet, toes barely touching the sand dune beneath. Change with all its murky mysteries. When the ocean surges, the water is opaque and unclear, and I am unable to see my feet or what newness surrounds me. It invigorates me and reminds me of the everyday magic of renewal. It calms me, it frightens me, it inspires me.

When the swell reaches the shore, and the ocean calms, I can see once again into the clear waters, to my feet and the sand, and find the treasures that change has brought me.

A bejewelled coral of new friendship here, a bleached coral of old friendship fading half submerged in the sand. I hold tight to both pieces, weeping gently over the older more fragile coral for friendships of past, and rejoicing over the new, vibrant colourings of coral for new friendships ~blossoming, blooming, uplifting~ for all its many blessings. Sitting on the beach, hair curling, sand on my face, my legs; like a mermaid come ashore. Cradling my pieces of coral.

Finding in the shallows treasures swept up from the depths by the latest waves of change. Shining pieces of beach glass, memories of my brother. Stirred up by a talk with a clairvoyant. I wipe the beach glass clean, reflecting in it love past, love lost, love regained. Love traversing distance and through the glass walls of death. Love for my brother, and the connection that still ties us. Soft tears falling on the beach glass, washing away years of grit and the tarnish of forgetting. I keep my beach glass close to my heart, and tell myself I will take it out every day and see it again what I saw the first time. Seeing my brother, a shining light, still by my side, still showering me with love. Still.

Gems of innumerable quantities and qualities finding their way to my feet. Surrounded by a swell of gratefulness and love and endless possibility.

The sweet seaweed of tranquillity and peace found tangled around my ankle. The other day, someone said to me: I love reading your posts. They always exude such peacefulness and tranquillity.
Peace. Tranquil. Words that have never been used to describe me before. I keep thinking over that. She thinks I am peaceful. The sound of this makes my heart swell. Peaceful. Yes. This is me now, how I am wishing to be. This is what I ask in my life, and this is what I am learning to be. I bind my seaweed into a necklace of peacefulness, and place it around my neck.

Shells. Surrounding me. Shells of creation. Shells of writing, of art, of painting, of photography. Shells that were always a part of my environment, but are now close enough to touch and embrace. Perfectly shaped, smoothened by the ocean, holding the sound of the sea. Each so different in shape and colour. I adorn myself with my shells. I, the Scorpio, the one of the shells. Shells growing, becoming large enough for me to lie in, sleep in, dream in. Shells around my wrists, hands, neck, waist, ankles, in my hair. Shells shimmering in the light, making a soft chiming sound as I walk and play and swim.

The sea opening to me. I feel the soft vibrations in the sand. Feeling my heart expanding. Being overwhelmed by love for my merman. From the shore I see him playing with our merdog, the waters green and blue and azure. Seeing him as he is. Falling asleep beside my partner, lulled by gentle waves. He knows this change this just as well as I do. My merman, my partner, my soul’s mate. Self-love, together-love, love emanating. The family of us, and our dog.

Yes, the seas of change have been moving. The waves churning me over, making me feel so joyful just to be alive. The need for delicious air driving me to the surface, the desire for submersion in the liquid of life pulling me down to play in the waves. Alive. So very alive.

And momentarily, the waves have subsided, leaving me elated yet overwhelmed. Softly reflecting, gently finding that which the waves have brought me.

I am a mermaid today. A mermaid reflecting on the beauty of the waves of change.

What a wonderful day!

Have had a feeling for a little while now how my life is becoming what I pictured, dream, wanted it to be...

This morning I woke up early and went to the pool and did aqua aerobics for the first time.... I am beginning to listen to my body and stretch and exercise and eat well... Aqua aerobics made my chest expand and ache in a good way and I felt so refreshed afterwards, and so pleased with myself for doing it :D

Then I came home to my dear partner, and my dog, and our lil house with it's lush garden blooming... and I watch the rain outside, with my hair curling from the wet, and realise how everything I've wanted is in one room.

Rain refreshes and renews... it is a catalyst for reflection and growth...



My dear dog Charlie ~ we have only had him for two months and yet he is our family now... our little love baby and our friend and companion and family.



And my boy ~ together we are growing in love and laughter. Moving past our egos and deeper into love.



So many little joys in my life, filling my house and my time...

I made muffins ~ fresh and tasty.... muffins anyone? The perfect thing for a rainy day!



My marigolds are growing ~ my first ever seedlings!



Laying on the bed this afternoon... I thought to myself ~ what more do I want? And there is not much more. I am writing, and I have my blog, and I just sold some art... I am taking photos... I feel like I am creating just how I should...

Whilst work isn't the work I dream of, the people who surround me help me to keep the joy even during workhours.
I get to study part time to stretch my brain... and still *live* without study overtaking me...

There is so many joys in my life
and I feel like my cup is overflowing... or growing bigger to hold it all

Thank you for letting me share with you...
love and laughter,
leonie

My garden in spring!

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of
us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose
garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming
outside our windows today.

- Dale Carnegie


Photos I took today of the roses outside our window and in our garden...

Curling petals for sleeping fairies...



I love textures...




A rose against the sky...



I love the texture of wood...



Looking into the hearts of flowers...



Lush pink white red...






The reddest of roses...



and of course... the beautiful Charlie...

Friendship ~ Emerging ~ Enchantment

This is why I love my girls:

-----Original Message-----
From: Allan, Leonie
Sent: Friday, 22 October 2004 10:35 AM
To: Koneska, Lile; Namara, Deb

Hello there my beautiful friends :) Any ideas on how to spend our lovely lunch hour? I'd like to do something quiet and homely and sharing, but I am certainly up to anything! :D

-----Original Message-----
From: Namara, Deb
Sent: Friday, 22 October 2004 10:39 AM
To: Allan, Leonie; Koneska, Lile

It's such a perfect day for sitting in a quiet, warm cave and eating yummy stuff and telling (more) secrets. We could commandeer Mike's office and close the blinds and lock the door and light some candles (I have some candles!). Let me know what you think, but like Leonie, I am up for anything.

xxx



Today me and my beautiful friends ~ Lile and Deb went to the park for lunch.

When we walked into the park, Deb made us stop and smell the grass, the flowers, the damp, the rain, the trees.

Then we looked up and stared at the wonder of the overhead trees, and the shape of leaves, and the sky above.

We tiptoed over puddles, and revelled in the softest rain, barely there, but sweetly tangable.

We ate homemade risottos under a pagoda.
It was cool and rainy, and we were surrounded by green park and forests.

We giggled and shared stories and became surrounded by a group of teenage girls.

After they had left, we stood in the middle of the pagoda, right at its very centre, and we chose angel cards.

Deb ~ Enchantment; Lile ~ Emerging; Me ~ Friendships.

The friendships card was last, and was such a beautiful experience. The card has three angels on it, and we chose which one of it we were. And as we looked in the picture, we saw the reflection of the world we were standing in. The bird; the trees; the roses; the cards; the ambiance ~ all that was in the picture was in our pagoda and the softly dripping park. Such incredible synchronicities and beauty. As Deb read the card out to us, we stood, with arms around each other, and just soaked it all in.

Then we visited the Gandhi statue, and marvelled at him, and wondered over his quotes, and I kissed his sandalled toe. Then we plucked colourful flowers, put them in our hair, and walked arm in arm back to walk.

The power of three. As Deb said: Women weave the most potent magic in each others lives.
How right she is.

I sent them both this email ~

"Today was truly beautiful, and I'm just so so pleased that we are doing these things for ourselves and each other.
I feel like we are creating our own magic, and our own succulent lifestyle of loving, sharing and growth.
I feel like we are recognising even more the call of our spirits and bodies to live as they wish.I love that today we retreated to a cave to reflect and eat yummy, healthy foods, and open our hearts.

There is a feeling in my chest of my heart growing and stretching and loving, and as though a part of me which has been slumbering is now awakening and is ready for dancing.
Thank you for the magic in our ordinary moments.
What a lovely, magical thing for us three to be crossing each other's paths, right here, right now, together.
I love that you are both so open to going along with my whims, and sharing your lives.
Have you ever seen a forest growing at the same rate?
That's us ~ three tall trees, growing together, and holding each other's branches.
This feeling in me is bigger than words ~ we are living the lives we dreamed of!"

And we are.
And what a wonder it is, to suddenly find yourself awake and living in your dream.
The conciousness, the succulence, the sharing.
Creating our own womanly magic with juicy living and sweet, amazing friendships.

honouring

All sorrows can be borne if you tell a story about them.
- Karen Blixen


By telling our truth we make way for more beauty in our lives.

We all have secrets of our selves, secrets we fear and are held under by...
We fear what people will think if they knew, and spend so much time trying to cover a perceived flaw or secret.
I know because I've done it.
Felt so many years worrying because.... *drum roll*
I have uneven boobs!
Years spent feeling like I wasn't a full woman because of this "flaw"
So many moments feeling negatively about my body,
and keeping the secret so close to my chest (literally)
that it weighed on me.

And now...
I have decided to no longer honour the secret of it.
No longer honour the shame or the fear or the worry.
Instead, I will honour acceptance and self love and truth.

Yesterday, I emailed my sweet girls ~
Deb, Lile and Sally after getting back from our lush lunch.
And I said to them...
I need to share my secret. So I did. Without fear.
I gave out self love, and love came flooding back.
Love, acceptance, friendship, wisdom, reassurances, warmth, laughter.

I am letting the "secret" be a truth,
a conquered fear,
an integral, loved part of me.

I am letting my worry fly off into ze sky,
and am bobbing on the ocean gleefully with uneven boozwa's
My choice: I refuse to be weighed down by my fears anymore!
Bob, bob, bob!

I will honour my body, just as it is,
not how I wish it were.
Honour my healthy, assymetrical body
honouring its "perceived flaws" ~
honouring its perfect creation.

Inspired.

Two photos I fell in love with today...

The beautiful Deb celebrating her first Maui sunset...




A photo Deb took of me taking a photo of her at our surprise picnic on Friday...




~

Me and Lile had a lovely lunch hour today.
Using office stationery, and bits and bobs we had living in the bottoms of our bags,
we had "Craft Corner" ~
we set up at one of the meeting tables and made cards and drew and made like creative bugs for an hour.

It was absolutely lovely.

~

Beautiful mediation website found here.
Has 1, 2, 3 minute guided meditation words with music and imagery.
My breathing deepened when I read these.

Randoms

What has touched me today?
Finding out from my little sister that she, my mum and my brother all cried when they read the post about connecting with clinty.

Who do I miss today?
Sonia, Kasey, Zetty, Charlie, Lisa Marie, Shan.
And my family. Especially Boofy. Just to sit beside him and laugh and talk and smell him ~ wafty, deoderant, musky big brother smell.

Am looking at...
Chris' beautiful instruments in front of me. A guitar, a Peruvian flute, a didgeridoo, a ukelele and a keyboard.

Am in love with...
him. When I kissed him goodnight, I couldn't stop myself from just looking in his eyes,
blue blue oceans of wonder and depth and love.

Touching conversation...
with Lile. About friendships, and the icky inbetweens of transitions of those friendships. Wondering out loud if they will last, and how they can be repaired, or if they indeed should be repaired. When to stop holding out a hand if it is not being held in return.

Strong Woman Inspired
by two amazing women on Enough Rope - Olivia Newton John and Arundhati Roy.


Now, sleep calls me.
I bid you adieu.
So I say..
Thank you for the music,
the songs I’m singing
Thanks for all the joy they’re bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty
What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me.

Thank you all for your words, your encouragement, your love.

For Chris

Namadgi

Me and Chris went for a drive up to Namadgi National Park this afternoon.
Chris went for a jog up a track while I went on a mini photo adventure...
the bush was just *beautiful* ~ really growing from the last rain.















I really love the last picture ~ just how vibrant yellow the blossoms turned out while the ground looks black and white.

On the drive back, we came across a serendipitous little find ~ The Blue Roof Gallery! It is on the road between Canberra and Namadgi in a clutch of a dozen homes, an antique shop and a cafe by the Murrumbidgee River. The gallery was a lovely simple room filled with precisely picked works ~ my favourite being a monochrome photo of a naked woman lying on a bed of twigs, with her hand laying in front of the camera. Just lovely. The owner gallery was the piece's maker and such a down to earth being. Yay for serendipitous finds!

A good day in all.
A good weekend.
A good year.
A good life.
Love.

Lovely, lush, lumbunctious Saturday

just had a lovely saturday...

awoke to gleeful doggy licking my face,
then out in the beautiful sunshiney day:
voting in the state elections (labor set to win)
went to the library
found some three beautiful tops on sale (weeee!)

then this afternoon was Deb's birthday open house...
it was really lovely, her house is so so so beautiful...
she has an amazing rainbow mural on a wall,
and her home is just filled with crystals and buddha statues and beautiful things...
oh just oh so beautiful, i cannot begin to speak of the beautiful paintings and special things she fills her life with... *sigh!* I feel so delighted that my goddess painting is joining such a gorgeous household.

You can see the beautiful rainbow mural behind Lile, Deb and me...



and i met so many of her friends,
and they were all just beautiful, vibrant, talented women ~
so many were artists and healers and crafters....
such a yummy crowd!

and her two sons ~ 16 and 14 yo ~ were such loveable succulent young men!
just gorgeous!

i fell immediately in love with her beautiful dogs too ~
two gentle golden retrievers who padded softly about,
and had the most gorgeous, soft, lush fur...
fur you could just drown in, roll in, and fall asleep beside...



All in all, such a lush afternoon... Deb Deb Deb.
Let me count the ways I love you.
You, Princess of Hugs, Goddess Gaya, has so much inner beauty
that you attract and are surrounded with such outside beauty ~
your home, your boys, your dogs, your beautiful things, your friends...
I felt enriched just in those few hours eating fruit kebabs in your world!
Happy 40th love ~ so much good shtuff is coming your way!

then i drove my Lile home and we got lost and were giggling away
and i got home about 7
and me and Chris got yummy Subway and spent time together,
and now I am here!

a lovely day!

Deb's birthday picnic ~ gorgeous goddess get-together!

Tomorrow is my darling friend Deb's 40th birthday...
so me and the ever lush Lile made a little adventure for her to go on!
*hee hee hee*

By way of introduction, Deb is a goddess who works on the same floor as Lile and me. She has become such a dear friend, and I have learnt so much just by being in her presence. She is the greatest listener, has the most beautiful open heart, is understanding, compassionate, intuitive, oh~so~spiritual, and is the most succulent real life woman I know.

So today was to honour the special presence she is in our lives...

We got to work early, and proceeded drawing a trail of love hearts and angels in chalk on sidewalks across the city to a park...



then we put together a little "Adventure Pack" for her...



It had two small affirmation cards, some sesame snaps for the walk, a furry diamante tiara with fairy lights to wear on the walk, a map of coded directions to find the *treasure*, a twig we called the "Adventure Walking Stick" and a CD player with her favourite CD on to listen to on the walk. We gave this to her at noon and told her she was allowed to open it, and follow the instructions in it in seven minutes.

We left to get ahead and set up... a surprise picnic for her, in a relatively unknown park in the centre of the city. It is a massive roundabout, with three lanes of traffic going all the way around it, but in the centre is a forest ~ you feel quite secluded, and away from it all... just beautiful! It looks over the lake and Parliament House in the distance...



We waited for sight of Deb before coming out from behind the trees as a welcoming party...



We had a picnic set up for her, with salads and sparkling apple juice and caramel slice and a rug on the grass with candles and angel and SARK cards...



Deb is just such a beautiful soul... looking radiant in her princess tiara reading her SARK cards!



We made her hand made presents to honour her inner goddess...

Lile's handmade candles with pressed flowers were breathtakingly beautiful...



I painted a goddess portrait for her... Deb is just such an open hearted wondrous one I wanted something to paint her something whimsical and magical...



We ate, and lazed in the sun...


Me, Lile and Deb.

We blew on dandelions and made wishes...





It was a lovely lunch in the sun... filled with laughter, and words, and misty~eyed~ness, and joy...



Happy birthday dearest Deb.
You are the rarest of roses
and your blossoming is wondrous!



On our way back to work... Going up please Mr Elevator!


What a wonderful day.
And what a wonder to have friends such as these!
So many blessings ~ green grass, dandelions, wondrous friends, beautiful things, blue sky, and a surprise adventure picnic...