Tuesday, July 19, 2005

stepping out...

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biana's shoes

"We do not remember days, we remember moments."
~ Cesare Pavese

i drove home last night from women's circle, with chocolate and love and wisdom whirling in my belly.
as i got to the corner of my street, i looked up and saw a shooting star.
not just a flash in the pan shooting star, but one that streaked halfway across the sky,
streaking with light & insight.
i stopped my car, and just watched it.

chris has been reading deepak chopra's book on syncro destiny, and keeps reading it out to me. on the weekend, he spoke about shooting stars. they are miracles that happen everyday.

seeing that star shone a beam of hope into me. i understood in that moment about miracles, and the miracle of my own life. bianca's words about louie's birthday came flooding back:
"a divine goddess chose to come live on this adventurous world, and part of the pact was that she would forget who she was. but in moments, she would glimpse it..."

me & the beautiful bianca


i had so many dreams last night.
in many, i was circling with my women, just talking... seeing all their faces and voices.
it was so beautiful to dream, and still be there with them.

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another dream i had was rather NORTH inspired, me thinks.
I was standing outside a hall in the mountains, and Deepak Chopra was inside giving a seminar.
I kept on telling people: GO INSIDE. This dude will enlighten you!
And everyone did... but I just stayed outside, sad. I didn't even take my own advice.

The lesson for me in that was that it is all well and good for me to assist others in their spiritual path... but I've got to walk my talk, baby. I've got to absorb some of that wisdom and knowledge for myself too. For to be ME in all my grandest majesty is the greatest thing I can do for this Earth.

so many lessons. gifts. blessings.
fire rising in my belly.
moments are heavy with thoughts, self contemplation.
even as i cook kumara & feta frittata in the frypan, i live a thousand lifetimes in insight.
i face anger and insight on every corner.
i have women friends who remind me of the goddess.in.every.single.one.of.us.
my heart stretches, grows, as i let it love strangers.


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