she dreams of magnificence

she dreams of magnificence, mixed media on canvas


When we cannot bear to be alone, it means we do not properly value
the only companion we will have from birth to death - ourselves.
Eda LeShan

I'm working busily and bustily away at new and exciting projects.
I'm so excited to be having my first solo exhibition at blue roof gallery in Tharwa next month. More details to come!

in the meantime ~
:: i've been drinking up a wonderful tale in suburban self-sufficiency in "living the simple life"
:: i love swirly's analogy telling of the cabinets of our spirits
:: and coyote's sharing of soul mining
:: i managed to re-stock myself with the most *amazing* chai in the world this morning :)
:: on an adventure to the national gallery, me and chris agreed our favourite piece was trent parke's "minutes to midnight" photographic series. seriously good stuff.
:: cherishing some sacred chants and poetry
:: and i can't wait for the sun to rise tomorrow morning so i can go forth with our new canon 30d camera. excuse me as i go and paw at the feet of its loveliness. :)

a bird takes flight

aunty ella's statue


"What must I give more death to today, in order to generate more life?
What do I know should die, but am hesitant to allow to do so?
What must die in me in order for me to love? What not-beauty do I fear?
Of what use is the power of the not-beautiful to me today?

What should die today?
What should live?

What life am I afraid to give birth to?

If not now, when?"

Clarissa Pinkola Estes
(Women who run with the wolves)


These days, these beautiful days, these words swim around in my head. I awake in the morning, and the first thing on my mind is my sketchbook. I tiptoe in the autumn cool out to it, and forage it back into bed with me. The morning is spent there, in the sunlight dripping full sheets onto me, ideas spilling from me. New ideas birthing from me. Big ones. Touch the World with Radiance ones. I would love to share with you, but for now I sit back with a tender smile, hands resting over the belly, careful to let the tender green shoots of my idea grow stronger in my own heart right now.

These days, these beautiful days, I find myself finally uniting the Holy Trinity inside me - body, mind, soul. We have been taking body on adventures to a gym for the first time in my life. Stretch, push, cycle. My mind evaporates there in the rhythm of breath and body alive. Last night I found a destiny of sorts ~ a body balance fitness session ~ combining tai chi, yoga, pilates and meditation. How I have longed for you, my body balance. I could not stop myself from grinning widely the whole class. Hello home. Afterwards, I tell the instructor that her joy was infectious, and I felt myself mirroring her heart happiness. Hello beautiful body.

These days, these beautiful days I find myself being brave in the studio. I paint over what doesn't work for me. I delight in attempting to make my first ruined canvas. I feel it is an essential part of my artist's journey to have that one wreck of a canvas, but as yet have not managed it. A canvas is always redeemable. It can always be reworked. Happy accidents happen there. Sometimes a canvas' journey is long, with many phases and faces. I have no fear of making those mistakes anymore. I learn compassion for my canvas' journey, as I learn compassion for my own.

These days, these beautiful days I find myself moved to tears easily, moved to tears at the possibility of trying to document the depth and breadth of life. How do I share of the fur of my dog that inevitably adorns all our clothes; of the blue kindness in my lover's eyes; of the sweet ritual of chai tea in the morning; of the friends that enter my life, and those who will leave but remain in this tender, magnificent heart of mine?

happy birth*day sweet sone

When I count my blessings,
I count you twice.
- irish proverb




thank you for being all you are.
for the girl*woman*shaman*goddess that is sonya.
for being the object of affection for all dogs, despite being allergic to them.
for being the first woman to show your spirit to my camera.
for your honesty. for answering the tough questions. for dancing with me in the silliest of ways, and napping under a sark blanky afterwards.
for allowing me into your healing journey,
and being a part of mine.

xoxo

alone but all together.

amarlia reminds me of a deity sometimes...


funny i look outside the window, and i see rain, but there is none
and somehow i know that there is a part of me in london, typing as we speak, she is looking out into the london rain, experiencing all of this and more. i wonder who she is, is her name leonie also, was she born the same way as me, does she watch the sunset light unfold out onto the street too. what is her story, who does she love, does she write, does she ponder, does she know?

i feel like wanting to be compassionate, because that's me out there, that's me in that woman in london, that's me in sydney, that's me in tokyo and some province in china.
somehow all the unique borders of me fade, and it's not all about being leonie, it's just all about experiencing this. it's all about the seamless soul that knows no face, that holds tight to no situations or circumstance. she just IS.

i wonder... how i am all one, we are all one, navigating this world, experiencing all experiences.

i send a heart call to you. i see how we are deepening in this together. how we are waking slowly, stretching our limbs gently, and opening our eyes to a new world, a new life, everyday. do you remember me? i think i remember you. and i think i remember where we may have come from, where we might be returning, what we might be doing here.

love,
leonie

the freedom of forgiving.

leigh


last night at womens circle i was handed the talking stick. i usually KNOW what i will say. i have it all in my head, ready to be said in a pretty way. this time, for the first time, i didn't. i had no pre ordained river of thoughts. i just sat for a moment in silence. i didn't know what words were in me. i heard the pitter patter of rain falling on the roof. the drops before the rain.
i said:
i feel like something really big is about to happen.
i sat with that stick until the flood of words and forgiveness came.

like the drops before the rain.

...i am learning FORGIVENESS.
my friend donna asked me what easter was to me.
i hadn't thought about it. i wasn't the christian type. so i asked her what it meant to her, and she said:
forgiveness.
and it sounded so enticing, that forgiveness thing, that i drank it in. it walked around inside me. it began to seep into old wounds, and new ones too.

i am learning to forgive my friends. even if i think they aren't doing their path "right". even if they might screw up. the right path and the screwups - these are only my own perception. here's a thought - even though it doesn't make sense to me, maybe they are doing exactly what they need to do.
i am learning to forgive my lover for the past. and i am learning forgiveness for the things i have built up inside my head. i am learning forgiveness of the rough patches of sea our relationSHIP sailed through.
and the big one - the forgiveness tree of all forgiveness acorns - i am learning to forgive myself. i can be so CRITICAL of myself in the past - who i was when i was a child, a teen, a young woman - even me ten minutes ago. sometimes i beat myself up - WHY didn't i know things then? WHY didn't i do things differently? sometimes i feel NAUSEOUS about the past and nothing having it "all together" back then. it only feels *safe* in the present and in the future - not in the past. i love myself, but i am learning to love myself unconditionally. without conditions. i am knowing that whatever i did, wherever i was, i was and am doing the VERY best i can and could do. and that i've never done anything wrong.
there is something very healing in this. so much hope and love and forgiveness.
it feels freeing.

i have never done anything wrong.

i have always done the very best i could. and it was perfectly what i wanted for this journey of mine.

i sat with that stick for a while longer. the words sung in the air. we all breathed together.
i passed my stick on, to my womansister. she shared a story of new friends and eagles. of a woman making a decision, and knowing that no.matter.what, it was all perfect. there were no wrong choices. knowing that it would be perfect either way.

what a relief to hear these words.


and so the talking stick moved on. releasing truths with us, into the night.

this morning there is clay stains on my hand from the sculptures of mothers we made together, drinking in chai, eating french bread and eggplant dip, laughing deeply, speaking softly into the gentle darkness that held us, as tenderly as a mother would her child.

forgiveness.

i set these words free,
like a small bird in flight across an autumn sky,
or a lone orange leaf twirling.

loving,
leonie

goddess marika of the radiance

dearest rikki, marika,
woman of the mermaid hair,
the avalon grace,
the ethereal air.

your warm smile, hands, embrace, words.

i shared these pictures with my spirit*mentor.
she drew a finger softly over your face and said:
this woman has known sadness, but she also knows joy.

and you do. you beautiful, beautiful woman.

i wish for you to see yourself as we see you,
as the great goddess sees you and loves you.

you are a treasure to know.



as we sat beneath the tree, i asked you what you wanted from the photos.
you spoke in the gentle voice of yours, with the familiar smile not far behind:

i want to have photos of me i like.
oh, and i like ethereal.

you made me giggle.
and then you made me gasp.
as i saw you behind the lens, i began seeing you as being the epitome of that.

you were gweneviere, you were princess and priestess,
you were long ago and in the moment.
your eyes saw celtic lands i did not see.
mists rolled through.
i do not know if you knew, but i kept breaking into smiles, gasping as you BECAME you.

it was a miracle indeed.

thank you for revealing, showing, baring your ethereal you~ness with the world.

in love,
leonie

leigh of the light

leigh, nixie, phoenix,
how do i speak of you?

i will start from the only place i know:
right now.

right now a bracelet adorns my wrists. a buffalo bangle. and in that sphere, that glint of silver, of animals racing through, SO MUCH is said. so much lives in me now from meeting you, knowing you, hearing your words. your words on your blog, in letters, on message boards, and finally in voice. now your words echo in me. the gifts, lessons, all soaked in companssion, kindness, love and wisdom.

what do i write of you, my dear dear friend?

you have taught me many lessons ~ more lessons and in a different way than any other has. your words spoke to my heart. i ruminate and sift through the lessons there. you gave me a box filled with shells, light, knowings, intentions, and i discover this box now. i discover even more of me.

i thank you for living your life. just the way you do it.

and i know i'm not alone in my journey anymore. i am learning to see the intentions in other's journeys now, before the actions.

love you,
leonie

xoxo

p.s it was such a pleasure to capture your essence in film. divine essence it is.

photographing goddesses

i've discovered a new thing i love to do...
photographing goddesses.

it is a deep joy and honour to witness moments when another allows you to see their soul. it is a deep joy to watch them glow as they remember the beauty that lives inside them.

i did photo shoots for four women~goddesses while on retreat. and with each one, i learned so much. i gasped as they evoked. my insides radiated as they did. and after, leigh took me aside, and asked me to do it for more women. create sacred space and document the goddess in everywoman there.

with joy, i will.



georgia amarlia

dear you,

you beautiful, beautiful woman.
i see you crescenting from maiden to mother.
you with the ocean icelandic wide open baby wise eyes.
you of the divine head wraps, the tribal urbane threads.

amarlia the healer.
amarlia the wife.
amarlia the artist.
amarlia the WRITER.
amarlia the discoverer.
amarlia the goddess.

this is all of you dear.
you are present, and you are love.



when you took that drum between your hips, and that apple to your mouth. magic and lifetimes dwelled there.

you are the songs of xavier rudd. barefoot dancing, thumping in the earth.
you are READY.

you hear and feel the energy. you are laughter and warmth, and gentle hugs, wide eyes and a smile that flights at the corners of your lips.

it was a deep pleasure to meet you, sister.
and to witness the miracles of you evoking goddess, and allowing me and my lens into your moments.

love,
leonie

The Affirmation Way.

picture by phoenix light

i am BRAVE enough to share my world as i see it.

i am COURAGEOUS enough to live my words.

i WALK my TALK graciously.

i live in my vulnerability with ease.

i dream larger and larger.

i dwell in my KNOWING.

i play joyfully in the safe embrace of the world.


phoenix light and me play in the waves {pic by silvergirl}


i am deeply connected to spirit.

i cultivate and dance in divine connections and friendships.

i am re-awakening and re-membering.

i am powerfilled.

i am loving and compassionate.

i am healing, healing, healing.


love,
leonie


add yours, my dears.

xoxoxo

medicine woman journey

i feel myself growing.

and remembering.

remembering what it is to be a medicine woman.
what it is to follow spirit.
what it is to honour all journeys, just as they are, without so much judgement and rules.
what it is to see and confront my fears, and know they will heal.
what my purpose here on earth is.

it is to be me. radiantly me. lengthen that bell curve of strangeness out so it widens the bell of what "normal" is.
it is to take photographs of women as goddesses, just as they are.
it is to share my story with the world.
it is to create circles of sacred space.
it is to heal.
it is to speak as great spirit guides me, with intuition and compassion.
it is to create art as i see the world.
it is to invoke spirit in all i create.
it is to write of this.
it is to live in this.
and for the first time i see how this is all for me. this is all for my journey and my living of it.

i am a medicine woman.
this is the path i walk.

blessed be,
leonie

can you hear the sound of wings

me and nixie
{photo by lilith}

can you hear the sound of wings,
of hearts soaring,
bodies dancing,
voices singing, speaking, sharing,
DARING to be all of us:
the weepy, the courageous, the vulnerable, the strong,
the silly, the sublime, the divine, the empowered.

how do i share of a goddess retreat?

there were more than a dozen of us, all united by our love of sark-ulence.

i miss them,
but they are not missing.

there in me lies a rainbow of images:
the ocean and the inga and the rainforest and the backyard.
the darkness of night setting as light shone from every single one of us in our twilight ritual.

i miss sitting on the verandah at 2am in the freezing cold to hear nixie's life story. i miss going to sleep next to sonja, giggling and whispering, getting uncy legion to tuck us in, and raven singing us lullabies. i miss my big girls boggers {who staged the intervention and stole them?}. i miss being curled up on the couch in a love bundle of calipops, sg and nixie. i miss the card readings. i miss eating dessert for breakfast. i miss dancing like crazy wonderful freaks at 2pm. i miss walking in the rainforest with each of you and seeing the owl and the water and the mist. i miss eating fudge with a spoon and photographing you all as goddesses.

i miss pg's embrace like a motherly goddess, planting kisses on my face and calling me beautiful girl. i miss uncy furry and his hugging toll and all of him in his his~ness. i miss praxis, lilith, green eyed forest nymph in her vulnerability and innocence and openness and beauty. i miss sweet amarlia's face, those blue ocean sky eyes so wide, the readiness and the moment~living in all she embodied, earth maiden~mama goddess. i miss paige, the soul of lizard, sweet, precious, warm, open, chanting, deeply beautiful paige. i miss sg and her ding dang gorgeousness ~ funny, wise, loving, naughty, card reading, marvellous brooch wearing goddess. i miss calipops raspy, sweet voice and the way she held me when i needed it. i miss nixie, goddess i miss nixie, i see her face and voice in the ones around me now, and i know i have learned deeply from this woman. i miss rikki, marika, she of the mermaid hair who evokes avalon and priestess and ethereal woman as we photographed her, sweet sweet soul. i miss tanishka, beautiful scorpee medicine woman sister, and her divine gifts and laugh and springy hair. i miss rav & legion, they of the loving of ages couple. i miss elke, my twin, my blond haired, blue eyed, turquoise and lavendar wearing, artistic, photographer, horse loving sister, she of the sweet, wise, deep soul kind. i miss sone and her laugh and curling up with her and stroking her hair and just be~ing with my friend. i miss my svedish alter ego inga, because let's face it, she's a dingdang hoot.

i miss all of this, but it is not apart from me. it is IN me now, and will forever resound there. the lessons, the blessings, the dreams, the memories.

i thank you deeply for your gifts. they adorn my wrists, my ankles, my mouth, my heart, my spirit sings for you and of you.

love,
leonie