leap of faith

.



i am taking a leap of faith.
i am facing fears, and doing it anyway.

when i finished school, i didn't know what i wanted to study.
i was interested in SO many things that i couldn't face the prospect of chaining myself to only one thing.
so i started studying a Bachelor of Arts, with major unspecified.
I started studying full time, then dropped it back to part time so i could work at the same time.
and it's been a fabulously varied, albeit at times rocky, journey.
I've been studying on and off for three years.
I've studied anthropology, psychology, social policy, literature, journalism, australian aboriginal studies, political studies and economic history.
I have really enjoyed taking every subject that piqued my interest...
but I skirted around doing what my heart sang for.
and this year i am taking a
B I G
leap of faith
IN MYSELF




This year, I enrolled myself in Art History.

And I get afraid that I'm not going to be good at it,
that I won't like it...
that it won't work out.
that it's not something which leads to real employment...

but you know what?

I'm doing it anyway.

i acknowledge the nay~saying
but i'm following the calling of the wilderness in my heart

i

am

l e a p i n g.

i'm growing wildflowers on my half acre...

__________________________________________


"My friend Annie once told me that not everyone wants life to be a mountaintop experience. She said that we all get our emotional half acres to tend while we are alive. Some people grow potatoes, and some grow roses, but it’s not our business what someone else does with their half acre."

The Craggy Hole in My Heart and The Cat Who Fixed It by Geneen Roth

Quote thanks to the incredible Maitri Libellule
and I do believe it was given to her by our very own Joyful Dancer...
just beautiful how this world works!

Happy Birthday Mooky

We are all the same... cloud watching together...
F A M I L Y.


My little sister Mooky.
18 today.

I adore you.
We all adore you so much.

I remember when you were three or four years old.
Mum put you outside the door, on the steps because you were naughty.
And you stood there at the door, banging on it, saying
HOW DARE YOU PUT ME OUTSIDE!
THIS IS SO UNFAIR! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
yep, at the tender age of toddler, you had a fire in your belly
you knew yourself,
and you were never ever afraid to tell people that.

Even now, as we watch you finish school,
travel to Europe on your own,
head to university in a city far from home ~
you still have that fire of self knowledge.
You are passion, you are power, you are depth.

You have maturity beyond your years,
you are wise, compassionate, intensely emotional, sweetly beautiful.

Happy birthday, little sister.
You are dearly loved.
By ALL of us.

initiation

it's kinda strange you know.
before my brother came down here for holidays, i had a strange thought.
i wondered, out of the blue, if he was going to get a tattoo.
i kept the thought to myself.

a couple of days ago,
my brother woke up,
walked out to the kitchen and said to me:
i think i'm going to get a tattoo.
i just had a dream that i was supposed to get one.

that day, he chose from the angel oracle cards the Dream card.

last night, we had an initiation of our own.
me, chris and brett around a small table. wine, vodka, bacardi rum.
minutes fall like autumn leaves
words slip from us softly, liquid drops of thoughts
wisdom.sharing.
honesty falls and flies, it drops, it dances.
we all smile knowingly. we watch stars, gaze into the eyes of my dog.
remember how to find those, our brother, who now live in the stars.



we are all linked inextricably. we all know this. we are all one.
we've been here before, done this before.
it is all remembering.

the rest of our lives merging to create those moments, the night.



the next morning we awake.
we make our way to a cafe.
there, a tall man with a mustache stands, hugs us.
my brother's father dave. we haven't seen him in two years.
it is good to see him, that familiar smile and skinny legs
that reminds me so much of our brother.

then all of us ~ chris my love, me, my brother brett, my brother's father dave,
go to a tattoo parlour.

we are brett's support crew. he is surrounded with love.


dave watches on.

and there we stay as my brother's belly is painted in blacks and blues.



brett looks like a buddha in that photo.

painful as the tattoo was... it was an initation.
a symbol of the transformation of my brother.
boy, adult, man.
a return to his authentic self.
the way of the sacred warrior.
even if he is only beginning to realise this, i see it.



afterwards, we walk by the lake.


brett and chris walk ahead.

how wonderful it is to walk by the sides of three men.
men i adore and love in three different, beautiful ways.
how blessed i am.



we sit at a cafe afterwards.
i comment:
who would have thought. who would have thought that we would all be here,
each of us so far from our homes and our birthplaces,
to meet here, to share these precious moments together.

mysteriously magic how we gathered
to share in a ritual, an initation, of one of our kinsmen.

small things yes,
but the air is so filled, the everyday adventures,
that i wonder at the power of it all.

there has been rocky parts of our journey, all of us
and here we are, meeting in love & joy.

best big brother in the world!

just coz :)

an hour to myself

had an hour to myself yesterday
while my brother was getting a massage,
i walked up the road and got lost in wildflowers by the sidewalk for a while...



i got mesmerised by the twisting branches



and the tree's sweet leaves



the sky was sublimely blue



i got distracted by a huge rope tower for children to play on
and i placed down my bag, kicked off my shoes
and i made my conquest
hands, arms, feet hurting that wonderful goodness
as i giggled my way to the top
i felt like rapunzel up there



the rope made beautiful patterns across the sky above



after i finished, i surveyed the little park i was in.
i sat on the bench, and searched through my bag

all i need to amuse me is~



a notepad (with gorillas on the cover), my camera, water, a bag from venice (thanks little sister!) and a book (Moon Rites in this instance)

i took some self portraits



i soaked in the warmth of the sun on a park bench



then i crawled under a canopy of bush trees to read my book
in there i found the most beautiful, serendipitious thing ~
a tree which looked like the goddesses i read of...



it was my friend as i sat there,
reading, watching ants scurry in the earth beneath me.

that was one hour of my day.
a gloriously free, unkept hour in my life
when no one expected me to be anywhere,
i had nothing to do,
but be.
and it was beautiful.

sunlight is scrumptious...

I think this photo of me, taken yesterday, is awesome.
And I think the guy who took it is awesome too.

war memorial

the wall of honour. too many names, too many dead.

boofy and me went to the war memorial yesterday...

and it was touching, sad, beautiful, depressing.

we had a tour guide ~ an old soldier, and he was the most wonderful guide
the perfect blend of sombre and funny
he kept saying
what was it all for? nothing
what did war acheive? 109 000 aussies dead, millions upon millions of others
he said
i thought we'd learned our lessons ~ that we wouldn't dare enter war again
but now ... it's almost a lifestyle, a given.


a Papua New Guinean soldier

my gosh.
we all have such simple, easy lives don't we?
in comparison to those men who lived for years in muddy trenches,
each moment without death a gift
precious moments, as bullets pelted overhead.


me and my brother's feet, yesterday.

and from that, i learn the most.
that each moment is divine.
we may not be at war,
but death gives life its tender, magical quality
life is a gift
be gracious, be grateful


domed ceiling of the tomb of the unknown soldier.

even sadness shines.

radiating...

Wildflower, growing by the side of the road, today.

"Just as a flower gives out its fragrance to whomsoever approaches or uses it, so love from within us radiates towards everybody and manifests as spontaneous service."
~ Swami Ramdas

Picked up my brother from the airport yesterday...
Today we've been hanging out. Hanging out, with my big brother.
First a visit to the War Memorial (did you know 50 million people died in WW2? That sucks.)
Then some rice paper rolls for lunch.
Then I took Brett to Ellanita's place for a massage,
and while he snored on the massage table,
I went for a photo adventure by myself.
It was glorious fun, to be completely vacant in a park for an hour on my own.
With only a water bottle, a camera, a book and a notepad to amuse me.



It's the best thing ever to wear matching thongs and walk the same streets as my big bro.

oooh! a new feature!

Hey there party people!
I've just implemented a new feature here ~
a new COMMENTS section that will make it MUCH MUCH easier for people to comment with.
Ole!

You can access it by clicking Comments (#) at the bottom of each post.

People at work should now be able to comment ~ and you don't have to be signed up to blogger at all now!
Hurrah!
Test it out, and let me know what you think. Please! :)

Unfortunately it had to white out old comments to do it...
I still have the hard records of it, just not on here.
I've pasted in those comments i hadn't replied to yet ~ and answered them.

And for those interested ~ comments from http://www.haloscan.com/

new yummy ways to C O N N E C T

love,
leonie

What to do to a friend's computer...

leave lots of LOVE "phone messages" when they have the day off...





let's get creative in our adoring stalking of friends...

a scrumptious sunday

i met my dear friend lile at the multicultural bus depot markets today
and we had the most scrumptious time!

i was standing, listening to the fabulous south american band Inka Marka
~ this is the beautiful band we heard down the street a few days ago...
and i was listening to them, waiting for lil to arrive, getting drawn in by their lyrical flutes and heart strumming guitars. I got a txt msg from lil, saying "I'm here!" and as I walked out the door next to the band to go greet her, I still watched them, transfixed; until I literally walked into Lil, and surprised, I scooped her up in a hug and spun her around, both of us giggling madly.
as we begin walking again ~ she tells me that it was the best hello she's ever received.
:)

our gorgeous friend andrea, from work, asked us to come and meet her
and meet her dad ~ they were having a stall at the markets to sell his
beautiful handmade jewellery!

we made the most beautiful time ~ andrea's dad is a beautiful, beautiful soul.
he is an Equadorian indian, with gloriously long hair and a huge smile
he greeted me and lile by shaking our hands, and kissing our cheeks...
he drew people to him with his gentleness, and his charasmatic honesty.


Andrea and her beautiful Daddy!

We saw how people clustered at his stall of beautiful jewellery and colourful south american clothing... everything made with such love and care... welcomed with the gorgeous smiles of Andrea and her dad.
We giggled to Andrea how we were becoming huge fans/groupies of the Inka Marka band,
and within minutes three members of the band came to the stall ~ they were friends of Andrea's dad! So we were introduced, and they were all so smiley and beautiful!


lil and her new favourite band

It was all so fabulously serendipitous, and lovely,
that by the time me and Lile walked away from the stall,
we were smiling ear to ear
:D

we watched tango dancers and eat argentian donuts,
and we marvelled that even the mural on the wall had the Inka Marka on there.



it was the most sublime morning.
magic, sweet and damn smiley.


Lile, Andrea and me.


~

I'm writing a book a book a book. Gloriously buzzy. Will finish soon and release to the world,
like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon!

My big brother is arriving tomorrow to spend a week with me.
Watch me bounce bounce bounce with excited~little~sister~glee!
I may be a little light on the ground for the next week, with my new visitor to amuse,
but I promise to keep you in on the adventures of my days.
All days are adventures, really. :)

~

ADVENTURES are a choice. A mindset. A gameplan.

laidback evening.

a goodbye party for chris' cousin megan
she is heading off to england for a year
for travel. for work. for adventure.
how gloriously sublime.


megan, aunty trish and chris.
no one in their family is ever going to go bald with their trademark thick brown locks.

a laidback evening.
with chicken balls.
and couches to sink into.
handmade sausage rolls.
turkey bread with beetroot dip.



Happy travellling, dear adventuring megan~
may the english roses rise to meet your path
with french weekends of croissants...

When toilet walls run wild...

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i love it when graffiti gets intelligent...

.

moments spinning in infinity

My jeansies, and my shoesies, today.

"A man walks down the street,
It's a street in a strange world.
Maybe it's the Third World.
Maybe it's his first time around.
He doesn't speak the language,
He holds no currency.
He is a foreign man,
He is surrounded by the sound, sound ....
Cattle in the marketplace.
Scatterlings and orphanages.
He looks around, around .....
He sees angels in the architecture,
Spinning in infinity,
He says, Amen! and Hallelujah!"

~ "You can call me Al" by Paul Simon.



The suncatcher on the door of our car, today.

every single moment
of every single day
there are prisms of perfection,
sublime examples of the divine.
open your eyes
widen your experience
and you will see it.

my feet resting on a wooden pole
scuffed, homely shoes
the sun touching through the colours of an angel
moment dreaming, moment holding, moment cherishing.
And hallelejuh to that.

serendipitous salsa

me and the city. digitally altered.
original photography by me & Lile

there are days when my city
just seems so magical
filled with surprises on corners
sometimes they are hard to see
what with all the suits,
the women teetering on pinprick heels of shoes
yes, sometimes my day i can only sit on a seat and watch it all walk by
watch the magic waft softly.

today i took a stroll down the street in the city
on the search for coloured pens (again)

as i walked into a stationery shop,
buskers outside began playing
my heart swelled


i saw coloured pens, but i couldn't last in there
i walked quickly outside again
sat on a blue bench
kicked my shoes off, hugged my knees
and just *listened* to the buskers.

they were most extraordinary.

i have seen them before, a long time ago,
at the markets in a paddock outside a rural town about an hour north of here
and here they were again

four south american men, with long black hair,
colourful clothes... singing in perfect unison,
four guitars, four flutes

their music is tradition, it is lyrical, it is intense
it plays on my heart, fills my chest with energy,

it seems like it comes from far far away, even when i'm sitting only ten metres away
i get lost there for a while,
in the music.

a south american girl in cut off jeans and long curly black hair walks to the band,
a friend of theirs, it seems
as they play again, she begins dancing because she can't help herself

she cha-chas, she salsas, she moves as the music moves her,
she dances from pure joy and a place of home
i cannot help but giggle..

as her arms flail fabulously about, suits of grey and black have to move out of her dancing way
she was the epitome of dancing like nobody was watching
or they did and she didn't care.

she taught me a lesson, either way.
an old woman in pink knickerbocker shorts walks towards the band, to place
money in their opened guitar case. i watch as she smiles widely,
then breaks out into wonderful salsa step walking as she tips them.

that's probably the highest compliment the musicians could be given...
for their music to make an old white woman move like a sexy salsa senoirita!

Ole! to magical moments...

everyday threads in a magic fibre...

the city block next to mine. yesterday.

magic moments have a way of penetrating everyday life
some days they are so intertwined in the normality
that it's hard to pull them apart
seperate them
recognise them each as they are.

i see a book on the weekend at the heirophant bookstore
called "Moon Rites" by spiraldancer (hmmm... i wonder if she is a hippy ;)
and i quite loved it ~ was really interested in the topic after all i've been learning in the women's group...
so i saw this book, loved it,
but didn't buy it ~ thought it's just not yet the time.

today at lunch
in the stationery shop
a table of books on sale
i walk around it to get to the coloured pens
a book catches my eye.
my book.
THE book.
i think to myself: oh it couldn't be.
not here. such a hippy book wouldn't be in a stationery shop.
it is.
not only that... but it is $5. I hold only $5 in my hand, intended for coloured pens.
They don't have the coloured pens, but they have my book.
Such serendipity, such beautiful everyday magic.

on the bus this afternoon, on the way home,
my usual crew of bus friends aren't there.
I sit near the older gentleman whom I'd shared angel cards with a few days ago.
And I begin reading my new book, but I find myself thinking:
there are magical moments possible here.
Wordless, I reach in my bag, and I pass the gentleman, David, my angel cards.
I move to the seat next to him.
We talk about the angel cards, about happiness.
about abundance, about choices.
i let him read my book.
when he gets off the bus, we are both wearing big smiles.
i wish him a happy valentine's week.

all these little choices... all working as though threads of some magic fibre.

to all that shimmers, glimmers and smiles.

love,
leonie

wyld cyberspace

wildflower pillow

was so pleased today ~ getting this email from Lisa Marie,
the first official owner of a piece of Leonie life merchandise
I was so delighted to hear what she said ~
I got the wildflower pillow today!! it's great! your handwriting, oh it's wonderful!!! so fluffy!! i'm sleeping with it! i'm never leaving it behind. i'm bringing it to school like my binky. :)
hee hee hee ~ made me feel like proud mamma bear
with one of my little ones out in the world, giving huggles to Lisa Marie.

~

the content team girls had the equivalent of a primary school dance with the designer team boys today with a chit chat in their cubicle

they showed us this funky website... put your headphones on...

you will find it strangely hypnotic, strangely inspiring, and wondrously useless.

hurrah!

~

the travels of moleskin journals here.

secrets to tell you

a Lithuanian serpent goddess sculpture in the park, today.

"The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep."
~ Jalaluddin Rumi

beautiful nights and days.
a package from my dear friend shan yesterday.
a wonderful night with the women's circle last night.
i take with me a rock from shan.
it is a night filled with love and warmth and giggles and joyful sharings.
a night soaked with love
lessons learnt
lessons learning
i am honoured by the presence of these women in my life.
will share photos when i get them from one of the women :)

today, at lunch,
feeling fudgy,
me and lile took to the park
and the park took to us.


lile, me. tree hugging, today.

a park with a statue of a goddess serpent that we find as we are walking back
in the meantime
we lay in the grass
eat peanut butter and honey sandwiches
and
lettuce and cheese sandwiches
lile that we follow the advice of the goddess oracle card she picks:
to R E L E A S E
from a situation
so we have a small release ceremony there
lying in the grass,
face to the bright sky
i speak her through a ritual of release
picturing what it was that was holding her
spreading it with white light
seeing the blue cords of discontent
and cutting those cords

then i closed my eyes
and we just lay there in the grass
me soaking up the delight of already releasing
and gathering into my arms again those things that are sacred
letting go and letting love heal
lying there,
with the glorious sun
beat
beating down
the smell of grass

through closed eyes, i see a shadow of lile stand up from her meditating body
and walk away.
the crunch of footsteps as it walks into the trees.
it is a former self of her that she had bid goodbye too
without ill feeling
it recognised it was no longer needed
and it disappeared into the trees, to rejoin the leaves

we awake
the sun bright
big smiles on our faces
lile is lighter
i am lighter
we have both been moved.

to magical lunch hours in the grass,
i am grateful.



letting go and letting love heal.

love,
Leonie