Thursday, March 29, 2007

truth words



who will i be
when i am not what anybody else wants me to be?
who am i
when i am not trying to make others feel better?
who am i
when i am not overflowing with love or trust?
why am i
here learning this lesson
at this time
right now?

i ask questions long into the morning,
eclipsing into the moon night.
i scavenge for the answers,
in myself, in the unknown, in the world out there.

i have fear and courage in bundles.
i am writing my way out of despair everyday
finding my way back into the light.
i walk a labyrinth of words.

i have curled up into myself
licking at my wounds
blood and scabs
of grace and anger and tenderness.

i am snake like, i am bear like,
i am the owl shrieking in the trees
i am the silence
and i am the wake.

i am brave,
i am rage,
i am kindness,
i am gladness.

spirit seems close by
rumbling in my chest
and a thousand miles away
a thunderstorm in the mountains.

who am i
when i no longer have to point out the good points
holding out the sacrosanct, gleaming diamond of insight
the compass of having it all worked out hanging by a red thread around my neck?

who am i
when i refuse to pass bullshit past my tongue?
when i do not clamour for the easy answer,
do not grasp for the obvious,
do not eat the trail mix of others' journeys,
do not compromise truth
or settle for the misshapen shapes of what something SHOULD look like?

who am i
when i am not
anything
but myself?

this must be walking the path of authenticity.



I am dancing into the wind again until mid-April.
Off to roll and laugh in the dirt like an emu,
Swim in a creek with my highschool posse of girls,
Witness (and photograph) one of my dearest friends wed her beloved,
Hitchhike with friends-I-haven't-met-yet to be with my family for Easter,
Make my sister paint with her hands (and feet),
and just...

be me.


May your days always be blessed with the honouring of your own truth ~
Leonie


7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Such raw and poignant writing.
You blow my mind with every phrase, every sentence.
You are on your own beautiful and unique journey....
and you will always be YOU!
peace & hugs
barefoot

nina beana said...

i stopped by here, hoping for something. these words you write

"who am i
when i am not trying to make others feel better?"

were exactly what i was looking for. this is what i've been thinking about lately. this is weighing heavy on my heart. thanks again for writing them down for me. a perfectly amazing piece.

may you have the best kind of journey...

Anonymous said...

This is one of your best blogs, Leonie, because of its raw edges and uneasy questions. Good questions. Soul-stirring questions. May your journey provide you with the time and space to find some answers and even more questions. Peace to you, Gail

swirlyange said...

Leonie.....this post took my breath away.
Thankyou.

Anonymous said...

and WELcome to your less together / perfect goddess gurl SELF.
It's nice to Meet You.

Honestly.

Delia

Darlene said...

and truth sets you free indeed...

loving you, dear missed friend of mine XOXOXOXOX

darlene

::Bek Geach:: said...

Wonderful you as always.
That is who you shall Be, who you ARE.
Beautiful.
Bx