the truth comes in petals

.


i received the most beautiful flowers from dear, sweet firehorse
just as a thank you for having the SARKette slumber party on the love & laughter message board! it was a delightful surprise, and they fill my desk (and heart) with colourful love.

if i'm really really honest
about how i am right now right now in this very moment
if i wasn't philosophical or pollyanna
i would say:

i have a headache
i am clearing my desk, taking home many things
i have a new job
and it's really hitting home how much i will miss this place and my friends here
how comfortable and colourful it is.

i also feel like i am 15 again
and i don't have a clue
and sometimes when i try to speak, really speak
you know, speak in those quiet hushed tones
that say it is scary to open your mouth and wrap your tongue around the vowels
and force up words
yeah, when i try to say them it just doesn't fit into the space well.

and that somedays i wonder how the hell i got here
and why i don't see everything around me
and why the hell i have so many bloody lessons to learn all the bloody time
i'm yearning for some just~be~ness.

can i sit and just be me, and be okay with that.

an eyelash sits on my computer screen.

so that's my moment.
it's not the extent of my day, no.
but my moment, yes.



"There are two kinds of intelligence: one, acquired as a child in school memorises facts and concepts from books and from what the teacher says, collecting information from the traditional sciences as well as from the new sciences. With such intelligence you rise in the world. You get ranked ahead or behind others in regard to your competence in retaining information. You stroll with this intelligence in and out of fields of knowledge, getting always more marks on your record.

There is another type of record, one already completed and preserved inside you. A spring overflowing its source. A freshness in your heart. This other intelligence doesn’t yellow or stagnate. It is fluid, though it doesn’t move from outside to inside through the channels of formal learning. This second knowledge is a fountainhead flowing from within you, moving outward."

~ Mevlana Celaleddin Rumi, 1207-1273, founder of the Sufi tradition. via dave. {click the link to read a thrilling article by dave on file servers.}




we are all opening like flowers.