feeling... f r e e

.


"I can change. I can live out my imagination instead of my memory. I can
tie myself to my limitless potential instead of my limiting past."

~ Stephen Covey

i don't know
the title just JUMPED out at me
how am i feeling?
i am tired, feet sore and smelly from a hard day on my feet.
i am emotional.

it was my last day at work today with my beautiful workmates.
as of tomorrow i will be working in a different area of the department on promotion for three months.

today was incredibly busy... the launch of the project i've been working on for the last six months (http://www.business.gov.au).

then this afternoon, hugging everyone goodbye...
these are people who have become my dearest friends. i work right next to lile~flower, my adventure friend. other friends who have become so close to my heart, my philosophical discussion buddies, my darling pet/pimp daddy alex, my sweet spiritual hippy friends... my boss is the best i have ever had.
it feels surreal.


i love my happy crew...

i was quiet the whole way home in the car.
quiet, teary, just DIGESTING it all.

and i started thinking about what it was i was really feeling, and why...

there was a lot of feelings there. a lot.
not just about work. about life and old loves and things.
why i wanted to hold people. what i was afraid of. the impermanence of everything.

i hitched my knees to my chest, rested them there, as chris drives us. car lights flick by in the darkness. he stops at the fuel station. i look out at the world going by.

what are all these things teaching me?
it's not about the other people. it's about what i see of myself in them.

this is for all of them... the ones i love, the ones that make me feel uncomfortable, the ones that break my heart, the ones that challenge me and make me think.

i see parts of myself i love. parts i need to heal. parts i want to grow out of. parts i want to discover.

my friend deb says to me...
you don't need to worry. you will draw exactly the people you need into your life.

i will. i believe.

i'll fumble, i'll fall, i'll make my errors of judgement.
but they are mine. and i adore them as pieces of my journey.

tomorrow i start my new job.

i have faith, that everything will work out wonderfully.

{and that they already are}

love,
Leonie