Love From The Jungle

There are so many stories tumbling inside me. So many stories to be heard, known, understood. So many stories to make a home inside this soul of mine.

Stories of how the light looks at Brisbane dawn, seeping into you, waking you long before you are ready. Stories of sisterhood and fierce love and unexpected tenderness. Stories of sushi and curry and cupcakes. Stories of hospital beds and meds and a ferociously beautiful octogenarian named Phyllis sharing a hospital room with three mad sisters. Stories of walks in long green and black skirts, patterned with elephants, walks waist-high through the jungle of Brisbane's wildflowers and wilderness, magnificence and mangroves. Stories of taxi drivers who break your heart or set it free with love for humanity. Stories of wildness. And laughter that leaves you breathless and falling into trees, the kind of laughter only sisters know. Stories of hands clutching crystals. Stories of past lives and presentness and priestesses and puppies. Stories of seeing beautiful women and luscious men in my eyes, heart, camera lens.

Stories of walking through the city at daybreak with a thirsty soul, following your feet past ruptured concrete to a tiny breath of Mama Earth, a park carved into the bustle of a hill. Stories of butterflies and birds. Stories of old friends and new friends. Stories of seeing an old friend and telling him: you know who I once dreamed of being? I am that now. Stories of a picnic in an abandoned lot/park/fairy garden, a gathering of rainbow precious women. Stories of pyjama parties and making dreams come true. And the brave pleasure of being yourself, even when that self seems faintly otherworldly. Stories of pain and healing, vulnerability and loveliness. Stories of nestling with my sisters, legs and hands akimbo, revelling in our holy trinity.



So many stories. I do not know yet how to tell them, how to speak them, how to hear them for what they really are. They instead are streams of silk fluttering around inside me, and I clutch at them, threading long fingers through them, grasping them into a ball. And then I let them go, I breathe and I sit. I watch, knowing instead that on their own, with time, the silken threads will weave and warp into a quilt of understanding and wisdom. Maybe I could show you the quilt when it has discovered itself. Maybe I could share it in adorned squares: of photographs, of the little stories, of moments.

But for now, there are breaths to be breathed, and a deeply precious life to be loved.



All is well,
with love,
Leonie

Meow

Two years ago we took these photos, on a roadtrip with our womenfolk.
She was lithe with dark curls, a dreaming maiden from Brazil.
Yesterday, standing in the hallway of our town's apothecary and bookstore, I hear a "meow" behind me. It is her pet~calling for me.

She is blooming into mamahood now, lifting her black and white cheques to reveal her round belly. Her love is here, and she is moving to our quiet suburb laden with mountains. She is still dreaming, birthing herself into Mother.

Looking through these old photographs today made me smile ~
of who we once were, and who we will be.
And of the photographs that will be in the future...
of a belly that grows even bigger with another soul,
of love unfolding,
of a family growing,
of a medicine woman learning,
of a woman's journey.

Life. Pretty much the best thing ever.

Things to Do this Life

Two and a half years ago, I started my Things To Do This Life List (which can be read in two parts). Almost two years ago I updated it with pics of missions completed. The lovelies Jen Lemen and Stephanie Roberts have reminded me of this soul~delicious tradition, so it is time to revise, update and add to...
It amazes me how so many of my miracle~dreams have come true, some without even knowing... revisiting this list encourages me to remember what makes my soul juicy and how I want to be in this world.
Go on~ Dream BIG and Create your own :)

Leonie's list of THINGS TO DO THIS LIFE

1. Have a midnight picnic
2. Paint my nails bright purple
3. Have a bicycle with streamers on the handlebars
4. Have henna painted on the palms of my hands - Done.
5. Read tea leaves
6. Learn how to say "thank you" in six languages. - Done.
7. Play Bingo in a Bingo hall.
8. Scuba dive
9. Handglide - I've sky-flied on a wire, which is close... 50% there.
10. Wear a lot of bangles on my wrists so I can make music when I *sashay* - Done.
11. Swim with dolphins - I was so close to doing this in Adelaide...
12. Spread happy graffiti/street stickers - Done.
13. Photograph project of street art - Done.
14. Hold the hands of my beloved on a beach and say *I do* while looking intensely into his eyes
15. Begin & finish my second gratitude journal
16. Finish reading "Women who run with the Wolves"
17. Read "Mists of Avalon" - 50% read, and I think that was all I needed to read, so I am marking this as Done.
18. Read a Henry Miller book
19. Finish an Anais Nin book
20. Have a book launch
21. Write silly and insightful sayings on t-shirts and wear them - Done.
22. Paint like a goddess - Done, and will do for the rest of my life.
23. Watch "What the Bleep Do we Know" - Done.
24. Watch the Qaatsi trilogy - Don't feel the burning wish to anymore.
25. Record a full length song
26. Dance on a table
27. Design my own sticker series
28. Feel truly enriched, uplifted and satisfied by my career. Touch other's lives with my work. - On my journey there!
29. Get published by a publishing house
30. Paint a photo frame - I just finished the most amazing Atlantis Mermaid collaged frame with shells and crystals and seaglass... so DONE!
31. Have a big treasure chest of artsy goodies - Got the goodies, not the chest.
32. Make an altar - Done. This is so much a part of my life now.
33. Cook a creme brulee
34. Play a magical April Fool's Day trick
35. Get an eyebrow ring - Done. And I loved every part of it - getting it, having it, letting it go.
36. Rockclimb - Half done. I rock climb wherever I go, but I want to try out a rockwall.
37. Have bright blue hair
38. Canoe/Kayak on Lake Burley Griffin - Done. I've been sailing on it twice, and hilarious fun ensued.
39. Go to a Sacred Heart Gathering at Uluru - Done. And it was incredible.
40. Howl at full moon - Done.
41. Learn the dates for star signs off by heart - Do I really want to do this anymore?
42. Get a tattoo - Maybe after I am thirty or past my second saturn return.
43. Do an art portfolio up with photos of all my works - Done. And it looks awesome.
44. Learn Tibetan Buddhist meditation
45. Dance on a beach at night
46. Have a LeoniePaLooza - I've had many of them now. :)
47. Sleep under the stars again
48. Hike for three days
49. Eat noodles again at a streetvendor stall in SE Asia
50. Have a hammock.
51. Own a blue car
52. Add to this list
53. Change my name to Leonie Cougar Mellancamp Allan {or not} - Done. I chose Not. :)
54. Dress in disguise - Done.
55. Get so flexible i can bend my head to my knees
56. Work in a bookstore
57. Perform a rain dance - Done, and it worked! Also performed a stop-rain dance.
58. Wear a grass skirt and a coconut bra
59. Get a professional dress-ups photo taken (dressed up like another era) - I was so close to having this happen in a little German town in South Australia, but they'd just closed!
60. Baptise a baby
61. Find a signature perfume scent - Done. My signature scent, I have realised, is no perfume ~ just the sweetness of my hair, the breath of wind around me, and occassional swirls of essential oils. My beautiful friend Angel said to me the other day "I love your smell Leonie. I have a pair of your socks that even smell like you!" I think I realised then my perfume quest was over... my signature scent is me. :)
62. Create a dreamboard - Done.
63. Watch a foal being born
64. Marry myself - Done. I love this so much. Best thing I ever did for me.
65. Give birth
66. Find a song that sings about a Leonie
67. Have no idea about what I'm going to be doing for a year
68. Tell a stranger they look beautiful
69. Give a spontaneous hug to someone I wouldn't usually.
70. Cut and polish a rock
71. Make a plaster cast of my breasts & belly and paint it
72. Belly dance in blue - Done.
73. See a buffalo - oh my god! Done! I loved this so very, very much. I didn't realise it was on my To Do List until just now!
74. Take photos of the red dirt of the Grand Canyon against a blue blue sky.
75. Gondola. Venice.
76. Meet SARK.
77. Paint rocks
78. Paint with ochre rock dust
79. Create my own set of oracle cards - In the process of.
80. Delve and acknowledge the wisdom of my authentic and ancient self - I do, and forever more will do.
81. Drink tea made from loose tea leaves - Done.
82. Make a necklace - Done.
83. White water raft
84. Ride a horse again - Done. And I will again and again.

More things I want to add to my list...
Some are ones that I've already done ~ they were so BIG I didn't even glimpse them when I last updated my list... and yet, here they are, glowing in my life.

85. Lead a womens circle - Done.
86. Run a sacred creative retreat - In the process of creating!
87. Submit a book proposal - So achingly close to this!
88. Appear in a SARK book - Done. RAR!
89. Go to India - 1.5 months to go! This has been a life-long dream of mine.
90. Walk the Camino trail
91. Go to Tibet
92. Read all the books in my bookcase
93. Go to Maccu Piccu
94. Write a book
95. Stay at an ashram in India for a couple of months.
96. Be an apprentice to a Wise One.
97. Enjoy every single day of my life.
98. Live in the country again.
99. Go to a world music/alternative music festival
100. Paint a wall mural
101. Do things just for me.
102. Be in the SageWoman magazine (illustration, article or review)
103. Hold workshops all around the world
104. Hold a workshop with my friend Donna
105. Meet* Doreen Virtue, Julia Cameron or Oprah. Or all three.
106. Set up a healing retreat
107. Be Leonie.
108. Sell a painting to someone in Asia, Africa and South America. (Then I would have a painting in every continent!)
109. Have a neighbourhood progressive dinner.
110. Publish a range of greeting cards.
111. Go to Tasmania with my lover.
112. Return to Uluru.
113. Meet Brooke Medicine Eagle.
114. Go to a residential spiritual retreat.
115. Create a photography website.
116. Have a solo art exhibition - Done. Second one in the making!
117. Bushwalk in the Australian Alps.
118. Travel the NSW South Coast.
119. See James Taylor in concert.
120. Photograph a sublime band for their CD. - In the making.
121. Do The Gift.
122. Go to Japan.
123. Go to the Goddess Conference in Glastonbury.

May we all know our dreams are possible,
with love and light,
Leonie

Giving Thanks for Abundance

photo at our artists circle by my dear one kaylia

Hello Spring!

The wattles are in full and yellow bloom, glistening beside roads, releasing gold threads into the air. My life echoes those September wattles... full and blooming with many good and beautiful things. Book proposals, another solo art exhibition, organising womens circles, artist circles and retreats.

New possibilities emerge, and I learn the lessons of saying YES to what serves me, saying no to what wouldn't flow with my life right now, and being still enough to hear and know the answers.

I feel so blessed to be actually living on so many levels what my dream truly is.



May we all know
that our dreams
are really, truly possible.

With spirit,
Leonie

There is only Love

There is only love.



There is only love.



There is only love.

Offering

With burning sage
I give thanks to all that has been
and all that will be.

Beneath tall pine trees
there is a ring of tiny mushrooms
where fairies congregate.

I make an offering to the earth
for healing, release and love
for the highest good of all.

I am so grateful.
I am so grateful.
I am so grateful.


How can we more deeply celebrate and honour when the path of a friendship changes?

Today I choose to honour this change as two souls choosing to walk their paths as honestly and authentically as they can.

Today I choose to honour the beauty of those lessons and the miracle light of healing.

Today I choose to honour the great gifts of that connection.

Today I choose to trust who I need to be and where I need to go.

Today I choose to honour love ~ love as the energy that does not begin or end, it simply is.

Today I give great thanks to the Universe
For all that has been, for all that is, for all that will be.

with love, joy and trust in spirit,
Leonie

Soulful Movies

I'm a big fan of soulful, spirited movies. Actually, that's all I really try to watch anymore. I'm a delicate petal and am easily affected by movies with suspense, terror, gore or action. (That includes Harry Potter - I'm not kidding). For me, it feels almost excruciating to watch a kid being snuck up on, a sword fight or harsh words. I think: I wouldn't want to see this in my real life, so why on earth would I subject my spirit to it by watching a movie of it. I have a difficult time knowing what is "real" and what is "imaginary" because they both FEEL the same.

For most of my life thus far, I tried to like whatever was thrown at me from the cinema screen. I tried to be okay with it. But for me, it wasn't a joyful experience. It was too much, and it would affect me for days afterwards.

I am affected in the same way by novels, so I rarely read them. I remember reading a novel about a schizophrenic man constructing his own world of reality when I was living in Malaysia for a few months. At the end of the book, you find out all you thought was real was actually the imaginary part of the book. I felt truly screwed up for three days afterwards.

I am now at a point in my life where I embrace my tenderness, and choose movies and books that nourish it.

As Jewel would say ~
"I'm sensitive
and I'd like to stay that way."

When I do watch a beautiful movie, my heart feels lightened and I feel blessed that I have been able to see into a new world. There is so much good stuff out there ~ and I'd like to give voice to it, and share resources of how to love our divine spirits as best we can.

I would love to share my list of movies that have nourished my spirit,
and hear your list too, so I know which ones to look out for :)




Baraka


Conversations with God


Ten Canoes


Dreamkeeper


Disney's "The Kid"


The Blue Butterfly


Small Miracles


Amelie

And of course ~


The Secret (now renamed "The Common Sense")


What the Bleep do we Know?!


Movies still to see ~

The Celestine Prophecy

Peaceful Warrior

Do share what movies inspired you, nourished you, made your belly smile...
I'll add them to this list :)

May your spirit always be blessed ~
Leonie

tale of a dream beanie

There has been some beautiful instances of synchronicity, manifestation and The Secret in action (or as my gorgeous co-worker Katie calls it "The Common Sense") in my life lately.

A few days ago I felt really teary over watching "Choir of Hard Knocks" ~ a choir gathered together of homeless and disadvantaged people. I felt so emotional over the challenges they faced, and decided that the next time I saw a Salvation Army guy, to give a donation.

Yesterday, I did, giving him an amount I haven't given a charity before.

Moments later, I walked back into work and found a long forgotten cheque that hadn't been banked ~ for a few dollars more than I had just donated.

Give... and you receive. Funny that!

And then...

I've been dreaming of a beanie.

Not just any beanie ~ but a rainbow striped one, with ear flaps.

It is May and here in the alps we are descending into Persephone's den of Winter. Dream beanie has been on my heart~horizon for months, but I still hadn't sighted it, and my ears were starting to get cold.

On the weekend, my love and I went to wander around the Old Bus Depot Markets to eat churros, sample olives (he) and fudge (me) and feast our eyes on all the arts and crafts there. That day happened to be Wool Crafts day ~ a sure sign, I thought, to find my Dream Beanie. Alas, no luck. The closest I came was to a brown ear flapper. My faith wavered, and I thought for a moment about buying it instead as the Universe OBVIOUSLY hadn't heard my request. I kept thinking "uh HELLO, universe, WHERE'S MY DREAM BEANIE?!?!!"

I wonder how many times I've caved before, to buy the not~my~dream~but~close~beanie in my life. I left the markets, faith intact and beanie~less.

A couple of days later I meet two goddesses for magical corn cakes and passionate smoothies for breakfast. As we walk down the street afterwards, arm in arm, my sweet friend gives me a small parcel wrapped in orange tissue paper and string. I feel like Daryl Hannah in Splash - when Tom Hanks gives her a present, she fawns over the box, and tells him she will love that box forever. I felt the same way about that parcel. I didn't want to open it ~ I just wanted to love it forever, rubbing my hands over the rough paper the colour of autumn leaves, feasting my eyes on the beauty of cream string.

But I open it, and inside is Dream Beanie. She had been waiting for me all along, and was just waiting for the angel to deliver it to me properly.

All I needed was the faith for it to be delivered,

and Me and Dream Rainbow Beanie found each other.

This Universe is too cool, baby.

Rainbow OUT,
Leonie

poem #1

Last night I crept outside
into the darkness of the backyard
and lay still for a while.

Breathing just breathing.

I whisper into the soul of the earth,
and I listen, and I hear,
and we commune together so insistently, consistently, assuredly,
that I began laughing, and the soul of the earth laughs with me.

They show me what forgiveness looks like:
two hands releasing a white dove.
I bet if you just clutched and grasped and held that white dove
it would shit all over you, and peck and scratch.
Better to let it go, I think.
White doves were born to fly.
So are hearts, and forgiveness.

Last night I fall asleep in moonbeams,
and I slumber like a fairy,
only waking to mumble:
I must remember this.
I must remember this.

In the dreaming land,
I see my father, and he is smiling and laughing and young.
For the first time I really see him,
and it is a beautiful thing indeed.

the most beautiful place for morning pages

Aside from:
right here
right now
The best place for morning pages
was dried pears
and a diverted adventure
up the long winding road
to Cedar Creek Falls.

I didn't know I had to go there
until I went.

I sat with my feet in the water for hours there,
writing,
talking to the fairies,
taking photographs.

Afterwards I clamber up the mountain to the top of the falls,
blessing myself again and again in the water
like I was being baptised again.



"The time for the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves! Banish the word struggle from you attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we've been waiting for."
~ Hopi Elder

I am always good enough,
Leonie

truth words

who will i be
when i am not what anybody else wants me to be?
who am i
when i am not trying to make others feel better?
who am i
when i am not overflowing with love or trust?
why am i
here learning this lesson
at this time
right now?

i ask questions long into the morning,
eclipsing into the moon night.
i scavenge for the answers,
in myself, in the unknown, in the world out there.

i have fear and courage in bundles.
i am writing my way out of despair everyday
finding my way back into the light.
i walk a labyrinth of words.

i have curled up into myself
licking at my wounds
blood and scabs
of grace and anger and tenderness.

i am snake like, i am bear like,
i am the owl shrieking in the trees
i am the silence
and i am the wake.

i am brave,
i am rage,
i am kindness,
i am gladness.

spirit seems close by
rumbling in my chest
and a thousand miles away
a thunderstorm in the mountains.

who am i
when i no longer have to point out the good points
holding out the sacrosanct, gleaming diamond of insight
the compass of having it all worked out hanging by a red thread around my neck?

who am i
when i refuse to pass bullshit past my tongue?
when i do not clamour for the easy answer,
do not grasp for the obvious,
do not eat the trail mix of others' journeys,
do not compromise truth
or settle for the misshapen shapes of what something SHOULD look like?

who am i
when i am not
anything
but myself?

this must be walking the path of authenticity.



I am dancing into the wind again until mid-April.
Off to roll and laugh in the dirt like an emu,
Swim in a creek with my highschool posse of girls,
Witness (and photograph) one of my dearest friends wed her beloved,
Hitchhike with friends-I-haven't-met-yet to be with my family for Easter,
Make my sister paint with her hands (and feet),
and just...

be me.


May your days always be blessed with the honouring of your own truth ~
Leonie

the real swan lake dance

She danced, and I danced,
and we danced together.
I was laughing and whirling and falling over
Two women, in love with spirit,
by the lake with elegantly arched swans.

I think I might want to do this all my life.

I am flowing again into the air like dust that shines red...
off to a brand new city for a week long artist's date.
What does that mean? I am sure I will discover.



May you always be remarkable.
May you always know you only have to walk your own path to be remarkable.

in light,
Leonie
awomanabsentinblogupdation
butfullypresentinlifeandcreation.
{and that's absolutely right for me right now}
:)

Magnificent Dream March

Some lush link adventures to take:

* This shirt would have to be the most freaking hilarious {and potentially effective} thing on Planet Earth.

* The delightfully vintage art of Eveline Tarunadjaja.

* Be a lender and change a life - Kiva is too cool for school.

* The goddess art of Thalia Took {is that not the most perfect name ever?}

* Tatiana Cardeal's photography is breathtaking

* Every single creation of Jen Lemen warms the cockles of my heart.

* The power of I'm sorry, I love you - Lessons from a Hawaiian shaman.


To receive an email when I update this blog, type in your email into the Blogarithm box on the right taskbar.

on a dream come true

tasmanian starfish shoes


my laughter become air traffic noise
ready to take off
so i flight into him and around him
legs looped like ribbons circling his waist
he rocks me back and forth on his blue stool
his eyes are all that was and all that will be
the embrace becomes infinite as
he is my mirror, sharing in all my joy

this is the moment birthing
a dream come true.


(no, it's not what you think it is. but it is just as much a miracle creation as a bond of love or a burgeoning child).

Ola from the Isle

Will write more on the weekend.
In the meantime I'll be drinking in great gulps of ocean and miandering through a new town.

Bless you.
love,
Leonie

altered book of one day

The precious creation~goddess Penelope set the challenge to document your average day using snapshots, then printing out to put in an album in chronological order.

I took to the task with muchos gusto, choosing my special and well recorded day to be Sunday. It wasn't a particularly average day, but I'm grateful I documented it anyway. My love's wonderful parents are here visiting us, we are on holidays and are using this as our "Christmas" break instead. Insert large boxes of chocolates, vast consumption of books and flagrant overuse of lounging...

After reading a book on creating altered books a few days ago, I decided to make my photo album an ancient French textbook we found in an op-shop years ago in my hometown (I know who the schoolboy owner is {the joys of being a smalltown homegirl} ~ he is in his seventies now).

It was wonderful to play in a new style this afternoon ~ crossover photography/scrapbooking/collage/mixed media, all set within the yellow pages of an old book beauty.

enJOY!































did you get that all?

awakening, my dog,
outside to connect with earth and meditate
breakfast, reading,
talking, connecting,
drawing, morning pages,
emailing, lunch making,
watching a 6ixDegrees doco on India {oh land of my heart},
adorning myself in goddess wear (turquoise, flowing skirt, bellydancing belt, wild hair),
a chakra goddess playshop with aromatherapy,
a dinner party with my love's family,
watching "so you think you can dance" {not so guilty pleasure}
comet gazing ~ seeing the huge and wonderous Comet McNaught on our horizon,
internet playing, goddess notes read~over
then ~ finally
slumber
and a journey into the dreaming,


yep, that's a pretty awesome day...
and it is all the more beautiful for having been seen.

with love and light,
Leonie