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Somedays I get so caught up in my head.In comparing myself, in believing things that aren't true, in disregarding and judging and being divisive and just generally feeling a lot of soul pain. So apart from myself and apart from My Self ~ that is ~ You. All of you. Every soul on this Earth, every breathing tree, every panting dog, every swelling sea. When I am hard on myself, or hard in my thoughts about any one of You ~ I feel soul pain, because I am apart from the Great Truth of our Divine and Lovely Oneness.
(Writing that, I see that apart is a-part, so any feeling of disconnection or away from is an illusion and not the Beauty Truth.)
I decided last night that I'd had enough. That I needed - somehow - to make new brain synapse pathways instead of driving the jeep down the rutted brain thought roads of Not Good Enough Street, I Am Unloved Circuit, I Am Unseen Driveway.So I went to sleep with meditative music playing in my ear, imagining all the angels rushing to my side just to monitor my life source.I wake up, and somehow I can't quite fall as low as I did yesterday.At lunch, a burly, beautiful man takes me on a walk. Past a sales bin, and there is a treasure calling my name. A gorgeous soft beanie cap (in the colour of "teal" as my New Best Friend At Work labelled it). Somehow, under its embrace, I feel safer, like my head is enveloped in Clouds of Gladness. It is my own little emblem of hope, an adornment on the altar of my body to symbolise who I am under the sky.
We move to the bookstore, and over and over books peek out at me from a woman with radiant grey eyes. She reminds me on one page that when we say we need to love ourselves more ~ it is not the truth. Because that makes the assumption is that Love is something we need to DO, and that we do not already Live in a State of Love.
I forget, sometimes, about that Love.
Please be gentle with me, World, when I forget that. It pains me just as much as you when I forget about Love. And I promise I will try to remember that we are ALL in this sway of forgetting and remembering about Ourselves and Love. Sometimes I think the crabbiest and most jaded amongst us are the ones keening for Love the most. May I always Love them.
Such small but huge things ~
a beanie, and a book,to make things seem beautiful and My Own again.As the sun set, I find myself giggling in the bedroom,rolling about with a camera, finding delight in my own gifts again.I love you, just as I love myself, and I love what we are doing,
and I will have faith for Us as tiny as a seed and as mighty as an oak,
as much as I can from wherever I am.
With love, gentleness, magic and remembering to you ~Leonie
Sunday was a day of painting on the floor,swirling around the room,following the sun like the Ancient Ones.There is a deva inside methat I dance with,that I immerse myself in,listening to her gentle voice,the way she presses my hand against the canvas surface.And in the moments where I need to inhale,to replenish the well,to connect again with the world outside...I read the books of the woman who is a Soul~Lighthouseand lay down beside my healing dog.
All it takes is these little, perfect connections...to remind me that all is well, right here, right now...
be blessed,
Leonie
~ More Connection journalling is at Inspire Me Thursday.
~ Goddess of Leonie etsy store Grand Opening Fairy Party will be razzle dazzling its feathers v sooon... to be on the mailing list for the opening, please pop me an email at leonie(at)gmail(dot)com with the subject heading "I love your rosey posey baby~cheeks."
I am so looking forward to sharing some more rainbow art joys with you!
For Phil,who reminded methat the most important part of this blogis being All About Charlie.One totally gratuitous photo of the cutest dog possible.Doggy hugs,Leonie
it's like fairy-floss land here at Leonie Life...Now if only I could remember my password so I can unleash some rainbows on this them there net!A whole new website is being birthed, and I am shuddering with delight.Until I can remember my password however... I'm off to learn yoga from Charlie~dog... he is a keened practioner of puppy~pilates and stretching his spirit.Stay in the happy place (and stay tuned!)fairy wings,Leonie
When I was 16, one of my favourite places was a beautiful bookstore named The Sanctuary. Quite the perfect name for that Nag Champa scented haven, really. I would curl up in the green director chairs there, letting my fingers wander over the book friends there. Perfectly positioned by the chairs was a panoply (quite literally: a splendid array) of SARK books.Finding SARK was like finding home. A friend, a teacher, a kindred spirit. Her books were a place to sleep in, to find absolute faith in my own rainbow soul. Susan, over the years since, has become like a lighthouse for me, shining her light to the sea so I could cast my own sails and shine my own beacon light.Today, a brown box from Amazon arrived. This is an incident which, in itself, creates a great amount of joy, but today was an Extra Special Amazon Delivery Day. I stuffed the box into my bag and bicycled home as fast as these little Amazon legs would take me. Once at home, I setup a picnic in the backyard for me and Charlie, with celebration Aloe juice at the ready.
Welcome home, Fabulous Friendship Festival.So we read that book together, there in the backyard on a warm May afternoon, witnessing a dream being birthed into the world.When I was sixteen, could I have ever dreamed that my name would be in a SARK book? That my dog would be a friend of this soul~lighthouse?Somewhere, sometime, sleeping in the moonbeams, I must have dreamt this awake.This Universe is one big Miracle unfolding, and I feel greatly blessed.Dream High, Big and Wide,Leonie
It reads:My dog friend Charlie lives in Australia with Leonie and her partner. We've never met in person, but as soon as I saw his photo, I knew we were friends.
Sometimes Charlies and friendships and SARKS make this whole world go round. Make that all the time.Off to bed now ~Charlie is in need of some feet to sleep on.
