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Earth has no sorrows that heaven cannot heal.
~ Thomas Moore.
Quiet, lovely day.
Spoke to the amazing Sonia ~ all the way from Canada.
Hard to believe that since school in Charters Towers in Northern Queensland,
we have spread out to the other side of the country, and the other side of the world.
Went for a drive to the Hierophant bookstore,
bought a meditation book.
Secured ourselves a copy of Sims 2. That game rocks!
Home again.
Did some design work for my new webpage...
Oooooooooh... yes... a NEW WEBPAGE!
One with all my art and photography... and of course, this blog.
Shall be revealed all in good time...
Did some painting, which I am very happy with...
Will post a pic when it's finished!
Had dreams upon dreams last night
I was with friends in one dream, friendships from the past who still radiate in the present. And we were sitting at a table, laughing, chatting.
Another friend walks by. She too, is a friendship from the past, but is one that has fallen from the table by the weight of time and distance.
And she looked sad and lost and didn't understand and just didn't look like herself.
She ran down to the beach, and I followed, trying to get her to see why I had to let go of holding the glass ball of friendship if the weight wasn't shared.
And when I awoke, I realised it doesn't really matter in the end. Do you know what I mean?
There could be years lost when a person thinks the glass ball is shattered, when it isn't.
I'm still holding the ball within the folds of my cloak.
It doesn't shine like it used to, but it has the potential to.
I don't want to get to the end of my life, whenever that may be, and think to myself that things could have been better.
I don't want rifts to still exist, without me reminding:
I am still here. I still love you. Friendships are ephemeral.
I don't want to live with anything but an open heart.
The rest of my life, I live with a heart opening, and loving.
And it pains me that in this instance I don't.
I harbour grief, and pain, and yes, some anger.
I'm going to change that.
Yup.
Coz it's not really about who did what or who's to blame.
It's not about "but they did this..." and keeping score.
It's about being your best self.
It's about treating each day as it's most precious.
Not thinking that the years themselves will mend these things...
because we may not have years.
And do I really want to lose years because of a closed heart?
Nope. Hell no.
I am not really sure what the response will be, when I re-extend my hand.
Silence? Perhaps.
A half hearted extension back, only to fall into old habits? Perhaps.
Or, joy upon joy, a rain which renews a whole garden of roses? Perhaps.
The response isn't what I am doing this for though.
Hope of hope, I hope it is the renewing of gardens, but it may not be.
What's more important is how I live my life ~
with an open hand of cards, a visible heart,
loving even in silence.
Love is all that we really have, isn't it?
And these connections that we make with other people ~
they are the gold threads of our life.
I love you all, dearly.
Leonie
Happy birthday my dearest partner, boyfriend, lover, best friend, companion.
You are the yang to my yin.
I give blessings for the day you entered this world.
Onwards we travel, together.
How lucky I am to have you.
You, the man who is unlike any I have ever met.
My first thought when I met you?
You were the most beautiful man I had ever laid eyes on.
And now?
The same.
Love, bigger than us, Love,
me
xoxo
